Plots For Stories Not Yet Written

A CIA agent frets over shredding his dog after the dog eats a top secret.  The story gets complicated when the CIA agent discovers that his dog is too big for the shredder.



A doll creates havoc for a little girl and her family when the doll is possessed by the evil spirit of a stink bug.



Activists from Black Lives Matter take a black hole to court because the black hole sucked up everything instead of only sucking up things that are black.  

The subplot deals with an inter-spice marriage between ginger and oregano.  There are concerns that the children won't know what spice they are.



Michael Jackson returns from the dead and attempts to solve the Kennedy assassination. Jackson's efforts are hindered by a priest with ties to foreign dolphins that wear beads.



One dark and stormy night, a funny bone technician finds half a brain.  He suddenly becomes dangerous.

It's A Conspiracy!

It's a conspiracy!  JFK caused 911.  His accomplice was O.J. Simpson.  They disguised themselves as Saudi Arabians and flew planes into the World Trade Center. They killed Lee Harvey Oswald before he could warn us. They also killed Michael Jackson to stop the moon from walking.

It's a conspiracy!  A U.S. plane got caught in a storm, lost its course, and crashed on Mars.  The Martian government denied that the crash happened.  They also deny that U.S. planes exist. They took the bodies of the plane's pilot and passengers and the plane to Area 52, a secret underground base on Mars.  Martian scientists reverse-engineered the U.S. plane and set their technology back 347 years.

It's a conspiracy!  The Bermuda Triangle is really a circle. The Geometrical Commission caught the Bermuda Triangle using the circle's washroom. The Bermuda Triangle used its connections to the angles, who control the degrees of everything, to keep this scandal out of the news.

It's a conspiracy! A funny bone technician, who is nonexistent, writes these blogs because he doesn't want the world to laugh.

HEADLINE HALLUCINATIONS

DONALD TRUMP AND HILLARY CLINTON SECRET LOVERS

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS WIN STANLEY CUP

SOLDIERS AROUND THE WORLD STOP FIGHTING TO PLAY POKEMON

PICASSO'S LOST DIARY ADMITS

 THAT HE CANNOT DRAW

GOVERNMENT CANCELS INCOME TAX

NATION'S POLITICIANS AGREE

 TO WORK FOR NO MONEY

 MICHAEL JACKSON FOUND 

ALIVE ON THE MOON

EARTH ADMITS BEING MENOPAUSAL

GLOBAL WARMING ONLY HOT FLASHES

GOVERNMENT TO RETURN MISSPENT 

MONEY TO TAXPAYERS

CANCER CAUSES SMOKING ACCORDING

TO NEW STUDY

FUNNY BONE TECHNICIAN ENDS

 BLOG TO GO TO THE BATHROOM

CONSPIRACIES THAT NEVER HAPPENED

Elvis Presley killed President John F. Kennedy because Kennedy had an affair with one of Elvis' girlfriends.  Elvis faked his own death to avoid getting caught.  Elvis also killed Michael Jackson because Jackson found out about Elvis killing Kennedy and was going to expose Elvis.
Elvis remains at large.  There are rumors that he is living somewhere in Argentina with Adolph Hitler. 

 ***

Former Toronto Mayor Rob Ford was an undercover cop working to bust a cocaine cartel run by the CIA.  The CIA effectively stopped Rob Ford by creating a cocaine video about Ford taking cocaine.  The CIA leaked the video to the press.  The CIA also gave Rob Ford cancer.

*** 

A polluted ghost appeared to some members of Greenpeace and said, "Climate change is caused by hot air from politicians."

***

The numbers 5 + 4 and 8 + 3 were behind 911.

***

German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche killed God, and took his job.  (That's why things aren't going too well.)

***

"The truth is out there."

"Yeah?  Tell it to get inside before it catches a cold."

THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY THEORY

Michael Jackson does not look like a killer, does he?

He is.  Michael Jackson was behind the assassinations of President John Kennedy, Senator Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King.  Why?  Both Kennedys and Martin Luther King never went to a Jackson Five concert.  This angered Michael to no end.

Michael looked like this when he carried out the killings.  He changed his appearance over the years to keep from getting caught.  Investigators were looking for a black guy with an Afro and not a white lady with long black hair.

Michael managed to evade arrest up until the Spring of 2009.  That's when investigators started putting the pieces of the puzzle together.  It showed Michael Jackson was responsible for all three deaths, and may have been behind 911.  To avoid arrest, Michael Jackson faked his own death.

Michael Jackson is alive and well and living on the Moon where he goes for walks daily.

This is not a conspiracy theory, it is fact.  How do I know?  I have a reliable source: my imagination.

CALL ME CRAZY IF YOU WANT . . .

Call me crazy if you want, but I swear I saw Osama bin Laden, Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis Presley having a coffee at a Starbucks. (I wanted to ask Osama for his birth certificate, but lost my courage.)

Call me crazy if you want, but pink elephants own all the liquor stores.

Call me crazy if you want, but cannibals stole Walt Disney's  frozen body and used it to invent a new ice-cream flavor: anti-Semite.

Call me crazy if you want, but somewhere on this planet is an Area 52.

Call me crazy if you want, but Michael Jackson did not die.  He went into hiding to practise tiddlywinks, and one day plans to emerge as the world champion.

Call me crazy if you want, but I am considering a proposal from Serpent Real Estate.  They are selling a garden with an apple tree. Should I buy it?

Call me crazy if you want, but I am looking for an honest politician.

Call me crazy if you want, but I joined The National Plunger Society.  Now the only block in my life is the one I live on.

Call me crazy if you want, but aliens abducted me; whizzed me around the Universe while showing me my future: taxes, death and more taxes.  Then they dropped me off at a Starbucks.

Call me crazy if you want . . .  

MEDIA COVERAGE

Would the media implode if Michael Jackson had died at the same time as the earthquake in Haiti on the same day that Tiger Woods is caught in bed with Barack Obama?