SHORT STORY IDEAS . . .

During a hurricane, the son of a bitch battles the storm to stop fleas from blowing away.

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The night before the U.S. presidential election, John F. Kennedy appears on television shouting, "April Fools!  April Fools!"

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A feminist, hired by the post office, leads a campaign to stamp out all-male mail boxes.

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An hallucination teams up with a dream to fight against a gang of imagination killers.

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Years of financial hardship and never-ending work, makes a single parent break into a prison to get a break.

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After surviving a forest fire, a tree turns to a life of crime by robbing branches of banks and giving leaves to the poor.

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As a plague rages across the globe, a funny bone technician says, "I'm outta this blog before I get sick!"

NOT MY LIFE IN PICTURES

 

 

THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY THEORY

Michael Jackson does not look like a killer, does he?

He is.  Michael Jackson was behind the assassinations of President John Kennedy, Senator Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King.  Why?  Both Kennedys and Martin Luther King never went to a Jackson Five concert.  This angered Michael to no end.

Michael looked like this when he carried out the killings.  He changed his appearance over the years to keep from getting caught.  Investigators were looking for a black guy with an Afro and not a white lady with long black hair.

Michael managed to evade arrest up until the Spring of 2009.  That's when investigators started putting the pieces of the puzzle together.  It showed Michael Jackson was responsible for all three deaths, and may have been behind 911.  To avoid arrest, Michael Jackson faked his own death.

Michael Jackson is alive and well and living on the Moon where he goes for walks daily.

This is not a conspiracy theory, it is fact.  How do I know?  I have a reliable source: my imagination.

A TOUR INSIDE MY HEAD

What is it like inside my head?  Let's find out . . . 


Wow!  Look how spacious it is!  Lots of space and no clutter.  Is it always this neat, or did the voices clean up when they heard we were coming?

Don't see any voices.  Are they too shy to face us?  They don't have any problem talking to me when I am outside my head.  Did they take the day off?

Look!  Over there.  It's the boardroom where the Board of Directors meet to determine policy for Gary Johnston Incorporated.  A voice in my head will tell me to do something, and The Board meets and debates the voice's suggestion.  Whether The Board votes yes or no, after their debate, determines whether I follow what the voice says.

 

Sorry?  What did you ask?  What are the dark areas outside the boardroom?  I don't know.  They are either dark matter, black holes, or my dirty mind.  Who knows?  

Do you see anything the looks like my imagination?  No, I don't see it either.  I was looking forward to seeing my imagination.  But I get the feeling that looking for my imagination is like a fish, in the ocean, looking for water.    

 

What?  You have to go?  Okay.  Thanks for stopping by.  Please watch your step on the way out.

A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE?

I went to bed wondering, "Whatever became of me?"   Asking myself such questions helps me to fall asleep.  Some other questions I have asked myself before falling asleep are, "Am I a pigment of my imagination?"  "Do ideas come from the same place as dust?"  "Should I buy green bananas on December 20, 2012?"

Sometime during the night, I awoke to find my myself out of my body travelling down a dark, mysterious tunnel.  I was moving towards this glorious, loving Light at the tunnel's end.   The Light was bright, but not blinding.   Its unconditional love encompassed me even though I was still in the tunnel.

Suddenly, I decided to turn around and go back to my body.  I had forgotten my wallet.

THE VOICES RETURN

"We're back!"
What took you so long?
"We lost the key of imagination, and got stuck in the shadow and substance of things and ideas in The Twilight Zone.  Traffic was reduced to one lane."
I'm glad you made it back safely.
"It's nice to be back in this vast, open space."
Can you guys take days off in shifts so that all of you don't leave me at once?
"Why?"
That way at least one of you will be there to tell me what to do.  I felt crazy talking to myself when all of  you were gone.
"Okay.  Will do."