THE WISE THINGS PEOPLE SAY . . .

"When you're involved romantically, then emotions always come             into play."
                                    - John J. Giddy


"It's always wet when it rains."
                                  - Frank W. Furbang


"Nothing is impossible to someone with money, and magic powers."
                                   - Sarah Semmeloff


"If I told you the secret of success, then it would no longer be a            secret.
                                   - Aaron Whizzlebaum


"You will lose weight, and never get angry again if you cut your                head off.
                                   - Agnes Anne Kuperwit


What is it about God that attracts all those religious people?
                                   - Michael Rowtheboatashore

  

A TOUR INSIDE MY HEAD

What is it like inside my head?  Let's find out . . . 


Wow!  Look how spacious it is!  Lots of space and no clutter.  Is it always this neat, or did the voices clean up when they heard we were coming?

Don't see any voices.  Are they too shy to face us?  They don't have any problem talking to me when I am outside my head.  Did they take the day off?

Look!  Over there.  It's the boardroom where the Board of Directors meet to determine policy for Gary Johnston Incorporated.  A voice in my head will tell me to do something, and The Board meets and debates the voice's suggestion.  Whether The Board votes yes or no, after their debate, determines whether I follow what the voice says.

 

Sorry?  What did you ask?  What are the dark areas outside the boardroom?  I don't know.  They are either dark matter, black holes, or my dirty mind.  Who knows?  

Do you see anything the looks like my imagination?  No, I don't see it either.  I was looking forward to seeing my imagination.  But I get the feeling that looking for my imagination is like a fish, in the ocean, looking for water.    

 

What?  You have to go?  Okay.  Thanks for stopping by.  Please watch your step on the way out.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

"Where have you been these first six days of May?"

I forgot where I had hid my head, and could not find it.

"You were able to function without a head?"

Yes, it's a common practice for we humans.  We can carry on quite nicely without using our heads.  I was on Facebook.  I did not need my head for that.

"Really?"

Yes, and I was going to run for office, but I found my head.

IN MY SPARE TIME I . . .

Breathe

Eat

Sleep

Do not polish my head

Have a midlife crisis

Point at pregnant women and shout, "I know what you did!"

Look for ways to be miserable

Chase away any happy, positive thoughts because I love being miserable.

Itch my scratch

Check for stores that offer Free Will

Wonder why cement shoes never became a fad

Accept responsibility for the actions of my multiple personalities


Ponder whether Mr. Big is still Mr. Big  in the presence of  Mrs. Big


Read the Number One Runaway Bestseller (after I chase and catch it, of course)

Watch my High-Speed Internet lose a race with a turtle

Try to figure out how to make one of my ribs into a companion

Search libraries and bookstores for Slaughterhouse Six


Look for the courage to face life indirectly

Imagine how much noise Kingdom will make when it comes

Blog about silly things

Repeat myself

Blog about silly things