TV Channels

The Amoeba Network - Programming for microbes, bacteria and children.

The Donald Trump Channel - No holds barred TV.

FNN - Fake News Network

Ball TV - Movies about bouncing, dancing and crying.

The Spots Network - Programs about stains, marks, dirt and Dalmations.

The Tragedy Network - Programs about marriage.

The Family Channel - TV shows and movies about families with heterosexuals, homosexuals, transsexuals and 2% and partly-skimmed sexuals.

Toilet TV - Shows everything on television.

NOT MY LIFE IN PICTURES

 

 

AM I AN IDIOT?

If I am, then I don't think I was born an idiot.  I believe I evolved into one.   Am I still evolving.  I hope so.

How did I evolve into an idiot?  Being human did not help, and I watched a lot of television.

What else can I say?  

HAVE A NICE KUMQUAT!

Kumquat.  I have always loved that word!  I was a teenager the first time I heard the word kumquat.  I had one thing only on my mind.  I thought kumquat was another name for vagina.

I have never had one -- kumquat that is.  I hear a kumquat tastes like a tangerine and lime combined.  Apparently, the edible skin is the sweetest part. 

If you weren't going to eat a kumquat, then what could you do with it?

 

 Glue a bunch together

 And make a kumquat dress

But if the glue does not hold

 Then you have a mess 

Put it on a stand

Pretend it's a TV

Watch it watch it watch it

And see what you can see

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's me.  What are you doing?"

"I'm watching kumquat."
"Yeah, I saw it last night.  My favorite part is everything."

"Damn!  Now you ruined it for me."

Use kumquat as a mantra 

Instead of chanting, "Om"

Have a fruity meditation

In the comfort of your home   

 Roses are red

Kumquats are orange

I better stop

before the Bad-Verse Police arrest me for making the world a verse place.

Have a nice kumquat! 

All of life's problems are opportunities in disguise. Poor picture reception on my television inspired "The Starry Night." - Vincent Van Gogh