QUOTES NEVER SAID . . .

"I want to end the world, but there's no point.  Humans are so distracted with their smartphones, texting and Internet that they'd never notice."

                                          - God

"How wonderful!  I get credit for the evil people do, and they think it's me!"

                                                                                                   - Satan

"I hope humans and their innards are around forever."

                                       - Cancer

"Is that a person, or is it only the sunlight reflecting off shiny flies?"

                                - A Flying Saucer 

"I have waaay too much money.  I wish I had less."

                      - A Single Mother of Six 

"What?  What did you say?"

                          - Vincent Van Gogh 

"Gosh, it doesn't take much to get them all worked up."

                            - Donald Trump 

 

                               - Porky Pig

PUN INTENDED

Snow - "Snow" is what snot says when it does not want to say "yes."


Ice Cream - Ice cream at bad puns!

Free - What comes after two.


Ear -   The length of time for membership in The Vincent Van Gogh Fan Club - one ear.

Adieu - Another word to describe a big party.



Disillusion - What chemists say when they hold up liquid mixture.

Hone - A tube-shaped musical instrument such as the French hone.



End - A conjunction used to join words such as pens end pencils.

LITTLE KNOW FACTS ABOUT SOME ARTISTS

Leonardo da Vinci loved dressing up as a women.  This is a self-portrait:

Poor Salvador Dali!  He could never figure out where to buy good-quality clocks.

Edvard Munch painted the first person exposed to rap music.

Vincent van Gogh had laser-eye surgery to correct his vision.  Unfortunately the surgeons had not perfected the technique.

Pablo Picasso took a jigsaw puzzle, and painted the what he saw after dumping the pieces from the box to the floor.

And finally, Doctor Griffin, The Invisible Man, loved painting self-portraits.

 

All of life's problems are opportunities in disguise. Poor picture reception on my television inspired "The Starry Night." - Vincent Van Gogh