Try not to scream when cannibals are preparing and cooking you for their dinner. People do not like loud noises before they eat.
Never talk while the cannibals are eating you. It's impolite for you to talk while their mouths are full.
Never wrap gifts in sandpaper.
Do not pick your nose when being introduced to someone. Wait until after you are introduced and then pick away.
Never be late for your funeral. Be considerate of the people who have taken the time to come.
No texting during sex.
Having sex in public is okay as long as you're at an orgy.
It's okay to chew gum in church, but don't blow bubbles.
Never poop your pants unless you are wearing a diaper.
And the announcement . . .
Mr. and Mrs. Invisible Man are pleased to announce the disappearance of their son Griffin.
