"I want to end the world, but there's no point. Humans are so distracted with their smartphones, texting and Internet that they'd never notice."
- God
"How wonderful! I get credit for the evil people do, and they think it's me!"
- Satan
"I hope humans and their innards are around forever."
- Cancer
"Is that a person, or is it only the sunlight reflecting off shiny flies?"
- A Flying Saucer
"I have waaay too much money. I wish I had less."
- A Single Mother of Six
"What? What did you say?"
- Vincent Van Gogh
"Gosh, it doesn't take much to get them all worked up."
- Donald Trump
- Porky Pig
