SOME RULES NOT FOUND IN ETIQUETTE BOOKS WITH AN ANNOUNCEMENT

Try not to scream when cannibals are preparing and cooking you for their dinner.  People do not like loud noises before they eat.



Never talk while the cannibals are eating you.  It's impolite for you to talk while their mouths are full.



Never wrap gifts in sandpaper.



Do not pick your nose when being introduced to someone.  Wait until after you are introduced and then pick away.



Never be late for your funeral.  Be considerate of the people who have taken the time to come.



No texting during sex.



Having sex in public is okay as long as you're at an orgy.



It's okay to chew gum in church, but don't blow bubbles.



Never poop your pants unless you are wearing a diaper.




And the announcement . . . 

Mr. and Mrs. Invisible Man are pleased to announce the disappearance of their son Griffin.

 

MUSINGS

Everywhere I go, I always look at the walls.  How come I never see any walnuts?


I inherited bad smells from my father.  He died before I had a chance to thank him.  

Where did Dad get his bad smells from?  His father?  And did my grandfather get his bad smells from my great grandfather?  And did my great-grandfather get his bad smells from my great-great grandfather?  And so on.

I can trace my bad smells back to the beginning with the Big Bang.  The Big Bang  was likely a giant fart.

 

Do you find that as you cycle through life, some people are like red lights at the bottom of a hill?

If I knew a family secret, then would I tell it to myself?

Will anyone object if I decide to speak at my funeral?

THE ENDING YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IS TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE.  PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER. 

NOT FUNNY!

"Why do comedians hate performing before zombies?"
"Because the comedians can never kill."



"Is it true that cancer started out as a crab?"



"Would life insurance policies change if reincarnation was proven true?"



"Is it appropriate to make fart jokes and laugh during the funeral for an asshole?"



Is the end of life as fun as the beginning?