COFFEE AND WHAT?

On the bus, this morning, I saw a man picking his nose.

"But that's not unusual."

He was eating what he picked from his nose.

"Yuck!  But that's still not unusual."

But he had a cup of coffee in his other hand, and would drink from it after he ate boogers from his nose.

"Okay, that's unusual."

Is this a new trend?  Will people one day meet for coffee and boogers?  Will you see signs in coffee shops and restaurants:

 

So, would you like to meet for a coffee and snot?

"Uh, no thanks." 

PUN INTENDED

Snow - "Snow" is what snot says when it does not want to say "yes."


Ice Cream - Ice cream at bad puns!

Free - What comes after two.


Ear -   The length of time for membership in The Vincent Van Gogh Fan Club - one ear.

Adieu - Another word to describe a big party.



Disillusion - What chemists say when they hold up liquid mixture.

Hone - A tube-shaped musical instrument such as the French hone.



End - A conjunction used to join words such as pens end pencils.

HOW COLD IS IT? II

J.D. Salinger has Holden Caulfield say, "It's as cold as a witch's tit."   Whatever the source of this expression, it is not true.  Witches are human beings with body temperatures.  They would be dead if their breasts were that cold. 

Toronto's temperature is like my bank account -- way below zero.   How cold is it?

It's so cold icebergs are vacationing in Toronto, but are not spending much time outside.

It's so cold that snot freezes the tissue before you finish blowing your nose.

It's so cold that brass monkeys have high voices.  

It's so cold my brain froze and---

 

WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW

I know that 2 + 2 = 4.  (Does that make 4 bitwoual?)

I know that God is not dead.  (He started that rumor to hide his income and avoid taxes.)

I know that water is wet -- moist of the time.

I know that grass is green, and has nothing to do with snot.

I know that if you jump off a cliff, then sooner or later you will touch the ground.

I no when it comes to drugs.

I know that money talks, and never stops.  (I had to move my piggy bank out of my bedroom to get some sleep.)

I know that Snow White never had a problem having multiple orgasms.

I know when to stop.