J.D. Salinger has Holden Caulfield say, "It's as cold as a witch's tit." Whatever the source of this expression, it is not true. Witches are human beings with body temperatures. They would be dead if their breasts were that cold.
Toronto's temperature is like my bank account -- way below zero. How cold is it?
It's so cold icebergs are vacationing in Toronto, but are not spending much time outside.
It's so cold that snot freezes the tissue before you finish blowing your nose.
It's so cold that brass monkeys have high voices.
It's so cold my brain froze and---
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