It's All About Loneliness

Loneliness walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Thanks for showing up!  People were starting to drink less."



"Why did the grass cross the road?"
"I don't know."
"To be greener on the other side."
"But I thought this blog was about loneliness."
"Oh yeah, I forgot.  Okay, why did loneliness cross the road?"
"Why?"
"It loved being on grass."

Does Solitude every get lonely?

Do some people make you wish you were lonely?

"Knock.  Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Loneliness."

"Go away.  This is not a bar."

WHAT IS THE SOUND OF ONE GRASSHOPPER THINKING?

What does a grasshopper think about between jumps?  Politics?  Religion?  How to be the best pests?  

Here are some grasshopper thoughts:


"Did Lee Harvey Oswald have a sex change?  Was he once a woman who was dumped by JFK, and had a sex-change operation before getting revenge?"



"I'm getting tired of eating plants.  Should I try that brown stuff the flies eat?"



"I could jump higher if they repealed the Law of Gravity."



"How come I only see my twin when I look in the water?"



"How much money would I make if I started selling grass?"



"How come we grasshoppers never make it to the Olympics?"



"Should I walk instead of jump?"



"Public transit sucks on this lawn!"



"How many grasshoppers die, each year, from overdosing on weed?"



"Eeeewww!  This brown stuff tastes like shit!"



"What do sound like when I think?"

EARTH DAY

MORE MUSINGS . . .

Do people argue with their neighbors over whose grass is greener?


If a doctor makes a house call, does the house stop calling once the doctor leaves?


"May I ask you a question?"  is a question asked without permission.


"Is it true?"
No, they are different words.  It is a pronoun, and true is an adjective.

Is bad poetry verse than bad puns?

MORE WISDOM FROM BOOAZ

Booaz first appeared in this blog back in March of this year.  Here is more of his wisdom:

For those of you who were out of it, welcome back to your mind.


Does bamboo have anything to do with striking a ghost?


The sun wakes us up, but who wakes up the sun?


People who live in grass houses shouldn't throw weeds.


How long has history been here?  How long will history stay?  Will history be around in the future?


When will nothing realize that it is something?


Seek and ye shall find, but ye may not find right away.


Life consists of pain and suffering, and making jokes about pain and suffering. 

WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW

I know that 2 + 2 = 4.  (Does that make 4 bitwoual?)

I know that God is not dead.  (He started that rumor to hide his income and avoid taxes.)

I know that water is wet -- moist of the time.

I know that grass is green, and has nothing to do with snot.

I know that if you jump off a cliff, then sooner or later you will touch the ground.

I no when it comes to drugs.

I know that money talks, and never stops.  (I had to move my piggy bank out of my bedroom to get some sleep.)

I know that Snow White never had a problem having multiple orgasms.

I know when to stop.

SIGNS WE WOULD LIKE TO SEE . . .

SMOKING

LOITERING

PLEASE WALK ON THE GRASS

BEWARE OF NOTHING

NO DANGEROUS CHEMICALS

NO SPEED LIMIT

NO BUMPS  POTHOLES OR UNEVEN PAVEMENT ON ROAD AHEAD

ROAD DRY WHEN NOT WET

CONSTRUCTION ZONE -  HARD HATS REQUIRED  ( IF YOU FEEL LIKE WEARING ONE)

PARKING ANY TIME

DON'T BUY ONE AND GET ONE FREE!

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WE ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY PERSONAL  LOSS AND INJURY, OR DAMAGE TO YOUR PROPERTY  WHILE YOU ARE ON OUR PREMISES