HODGEPODGE

There must be something wrong with my money.  I buy lottery tickets and never win.



With God so high above, how can he tell whether we are kneeling or standing?



Why are there no wrestler shorts?



If I go looking for nothing, will I find it?



I promise never to keep any more promises.

 

MORE WISDOM FROM BOOAZ

Booaz first appeared in this blog back in March of this year.  Here is more of his wisdom:

For those of you who were out of it, welcome back to your mind.


Does bamboo have anything to do with striking a ghost?


The sun wakes us up, but who wakes up the sun?


People who live in grass houses shouldn't throw weeds.


How long has history been here?  How long will history stay?  Will history be around in the future?


When will nothing realize that it is something?


Seek and ye shall find, but ye may not find right away.


Life consists of pain and suffering, and making jokes about pain and suffering. 

ONE QUESTION AND FIVE BAR JOKES

What do fortune tellers do to relax?  Study History?



Noah walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What are you doing here?  You can't thirsty!"

A fortune teller walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What will it be?"  The fortune teller says, "I knew you'd say that!" 

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Ting!  Ting! Whasso oogabaloo chalick?"  The man leaves realizing that not only is he in the wrong bar, but he's also in the wrong dimension. 

Nothing walks into a bar and the bartender says, "You're nothing!"  Nothing walks out feeling dejected.
 
A suicide bomber walks into bar and the bartender says, "What-- "

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Let us be cowards in the face of adversity.
Let us have the strength and courage to flee from every problem.  
After all, cowardice and running away are so much easier to do than all that bravery crap.


Tomorrow I plan to start living in the present.


Should I join Toastmasters, or its sister organization Jamslaves?


Will I ever find someone who loves me just the way I am not?


Does a thought still get thought if there is no brain?


I am not perfect.  If I make a mistake, then I will admit it -- only if you catch me.


How can I turn my ideas into shoes?


I don't like it when food I don't like gets in my mouth.


I am not sure how much time I have to live.  My doctor said that I am healthy enough to live another 300 years, but I don't remember when she said this. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
 After I die let it be said, "He did nothing, and he did it well."

I'M GETTING TIRED OF REALITY . . .

 

                                             (Famous quote by Nuth Thing)

                         

AND ANOTHER CONVERSATION WITH MY BLOG . . .

Blog:  My Gigabytes!  Where have you been?

Me:    Here, there and everywhere?  I'm not sure.  My mind is on an extended vacation.  It is touring the Universe.  I don't know when it will be back.

Blog:   Can you write without your mind?

Me:     Sure, no problem.  I do so all the time.

Blog:    So,  can I expect regular visits?

Me:      My good friend Alexander Pope said, " Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed."