A BALL THAT DID NOT BOUNCE

I met a ball that did not bounce.

"I thought all balls bounced," I said.

"No," said the ball, "only after they have graduated from bouncing school. 
"We balls go to school to learn how to bounce the same way you go to school to get an education.  No matter how hard I tried, I failed my bouncing courses.  I got discouraged and dropped out.  That's why I can't bounce."

"What are you planning to do?" I asked the ball.

"I don't know," said the ball.  "Perhaps one day I will end up in someone's blog and not have to worry about learning how to bounce."

REASONS TO KILL MYSELF

Sure I'm depressed over being lonely, homeless, jobless and broke.  But this is no reason to want to kill myself.  If I were going to kill myself, then it would be for serious reasons such as . . .

- Being forced to watch the movie made from The Merriam-Webster Dictionary

- Constantly having dreams that I was sleeping

- Discovering that William Shakespeare played a role in the Kennedy assassination

- Going back to school with a bunch of fish

- Believing what I think I believe I think I believe

- Being told that what I think I believe I think I believe is not true

- Finding out that I am mortal, and only have another 347 years to live

- Going through puberty for a third time  (The second time was worse than the first.)

- Dating a chimney and having the relationship go up in smoke

- Being unable to return my defective brain because I lost the receipt

- Discovering  that I do not have the courage to face life indirectly

- Not being able to cause a pain in necks or other body parts that are lower

And finally, I would kill myself if I learned that this blog has no nutritional value.