Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
UNCLASSIFIED ADS
CAR FOR SALE: 2013 Ford Dodge 4 Door Blue. Great Condition! Like new only it is not new. Asking $1,000,000.00, but willing to take less. Call . . .
ANTIQUES FOR SALE: Glass Jewellery Furniture China and Russia. Call . . .
HANDYMAN: Minor renovations. Minor electrical and plumbing repairs. Major full body massage. Call . . .
WANTED: Punctuation for busy downtown paragraph. Experience not necessary. Excellent salary and benefits. References required. Apply . . .
APARTMENT FOR RENT: Two bedroom unfurnished apartment for rent in quiet noisy neighborhood. Close to public transit, shopping, and eternity. Available immediately. Rent - $1,000,000.00 per month, but willing to take less. Call . . .
COMPANION WANTED: Single funny funny bone seeks single funny elbow for long-term relationship. Elbow must enjoy bending and have an arm and a body attached. Call . . .
Friday, July 13, 2012
REASONS TO KILL MYSELF
Sure I'm depressed over being lonely, homeless, jobless and broke. But this is no reason to want to kill myself. If I were going to kill myself, then it would be for serious reasons such as . . .
- Being forced to watch the movie made from The Merriam-Webster Dictionary
- Constantly having dreams that I was sleeping
- Discovering that William Shakespeare played a role in the Kennedy assassination
- Going back to school with a bunch of fish
- Believing what I think I believe I think I believe
- Being told that what I think I believe I think I believe is not true
- Finding out that I am mortal, and only have another 347 years to live
- Going through puberty for a third time (The second time was worse than the first.)
- Dating a chimney and having the relationship go up in smoke
- Being unable to return my defective brain because I lost the receipt
- Discovering that I do not have the courage to face life indirectly
- Not being able to cause a pain in necks or other body parts that are lower
And finally, I would kill myself if I learned that this blog has no nutritional value.
- Being forced to watch the movie made from The Merriam-Webster Dictionary
- Constantly having dreams that I was sleeping
- Discovering that William Shakespeare played a role in the Kennedy assassination
- Going back to school with a bunch of fish
- Believing what I think I believe I think I believe
- Being told that what I think I believe I think I believe is not true
- Finding out that I am mortal, and only have another 347 years to live
- Going through puberty for a third time (The second time was worse than the first.)
- Dating a chimney and having the relationship go up in smoke
- Being unable to return my defective brain because I lost the receipt
- Discovering that I do not have the courage to face life indirectly
- Not being able to cause a pain in necks or other body parts that are lower
And finally, I would kill myself if I learned that this blog has no nutritional value.
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