Not All About Junk

Junk walked into a bar and the bartender said, "What will it be?"
And Junk said, "Can you bring me something old or discarded that's now useless and of little value?"
"Why do you want that?" asked the bartender.
And Junk said, "I just can't get enough of myself."


Junk wanted to cross the road, but all it did was dross the road.

 "Knock.  Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Junk."

"Junk who?"

"Just Junk."

"Just Junk?  Do you know Only Rubbish?"

"Has anyone seen President Donald Trump's birth certificate?  How do we know that he wasn't born in Russia?"

"Why are you talking politics in a blog about junk?"

"This blog is Not All About Junk."

"How much junk does it take to complete a blog?"

"I don't know."

"This much."

Reasons For False Alarms

Why are there so many false fire alarms? Here some reasons you won't find written on the inside of a matchbox:


- Fire alarms are creative and need to express themselves no matter what.


- Aliens from Pyro feed off the vibrations of fire alarms.  They set off fire alarms just to get something to eat.


- The ghost of Jim Morrison walks through Doors to light false fires. (Sometimes he asks for help to light his false fires.)


- Bored building security guards will trip the alarm to give themselves something to do.


- President Donald Trump and the Russians set off fire alarms in an attempt to detract from other news.


- Former Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper goes around setting off fire alarms. He has not been in the news lately and should be blamed for something.


- Some funny bone guy sets off fire alarms to give himself something to blog about.

The Possible Secrets Donald Trump Told Russia

"Psst!  Hey Russia . . . "

"Hillary and Barack are lesbian lovers."


"I'm bald.  I wear a big blond rat hat."


"I am broke, but I have a great credit rating."


"The media loves me, but has an odd way of showing it."


"Melania makes me sit down to pee."


"I'm a Muslim.  Shhhhh."


"I turned away ugly aliens for the Miss Universe Pageant."


"I got aroused when I saw pictures of  Vlad with no shirt on." 


"I'll tell you my Foreign Policy if you tell me yours."

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