Reasons For False Alarms

Why are there so many false fire alarms? Here some reasons you won't find written on the inside of a matchbox:


- Fire alarms are creative and need to express themselves no matter what.


- Aliens from Pyro feed off the vibrations of fire alarms.  They set off fire alarms just to get something to eat.


- The ghost of Jim Morrison walks through Doors to light false fires. (Sometimes he asks for help to light his false fires.)


- Bored building security guards will trip the alarm to give themselves something to do.


- President Donald Trump and the Russians set off fire alarms in an attempt to detract from other news.


- Former Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper goes around setting off fire alarms. He has not been in the news lately and should be blamed for something.


- Some funny bone guy sets off fire alarms to give himself something to blog about.

THREE SIGNS THAT GOT DELAYED BY PUBLIC TRANSIT AND DID NOT MAKE IT TO YESTERDAY'S BLOG

It's okay for me to lean against the doors.  My name is not Danger.

This sign is an optical illusion.  What it really says is, "MAKE NOISE!  TALK ON YOUR CELL PHONE!  DISTURB YOUR NEIGHBOURS!"    (I don't see those words, but many people do.)

At three o'clock in the morning, I would love to call up the owner of a business and ask, "Are you really sorry that your business is closed?"

(For now)

WHAT IF . . . .

What if circles were square?  How would square balls bounce?  What would jockstraps look like?

What if Hamlet wrote William Shakespeare?  Would William Shakespeare  be or not be a good play?

What if J.K. Rowling smoked hairy pot?

What if revolving doors sang "Come on baby light my fire" over and over and over again?

What if a hospital got sick?  Where would it go?

What if the Law of Gravity fell?  Would it break?

What if dogs loved to hang around fly poop?  Would fire hydrants be jealous?

What if low prices took drugs?  Would they get high?

What if you were not reading this?