Showing posts with label funny bone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny bone. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
JOB DESCRIPTIONS
ADDICTIONS COUNSELOR - Counsels people on how to become addicted to coffee, cigarettes, alcohol and other drugs.
LAWYER - Practises law and sometimes gets it right.
PHOTOGRAPHER - Takes pictures, but returns them once he or she gets caught.
IMMIGRATION OFFICER - Examines applications for immigration, citizenship and visas and lets everybody in anyway.
POLICE OFFICER - Protects people and property by handing out tickets.
FUNNY BONE TECHNICIAN - Attempts to service the funny bone by writing silly blogs.
Saturday, July 25, 2015
CROSSING THE ROAD
(Behind George Harrison, but out of frame, was the fifth Beatle -- a chicken.)
Q: Why did the road cross the road?
A: To get even with the road that once had crossed it.
Q: Why did the surrealist painter cross the road?
A: To Dali to the other side.
Q: Why did Salvadore Dali cross the road?
A: To get away from a pesty surrealist painter.
Q: Why did the poem cross the road?
A: To sing nice rhymes with a toad.
Q: Why did the toad cross the road?
A: It got tired of hanging out with walking poems.
Q: Why did Donald Trump cross the road?
A: To offend people on the other side.
Q: Why did the block cross the road?
A: To find itself a writer.
Q: Why did the writer cross the road?
A: To get more experience for his novel. (Ha! Bet you thought it was to get away from the block.)
Q: Why did The Beatles cross the road?
A: To pose for an album cover.
Q: Why did the funny bone technician cross the road?
A: He had nothing better to do after finishing his blog.
Q: Why did Salvadore Dali cross the road?
A: To get away from a pesty surrealist painter.
Q: Why did the poem cross the road?
A: To sing nice rhymes with a toad.
Q: Why did the toad cross the road?
A: It got tired of hanging out with walking poems.
Q: Why did Donald Trump cross the road?
A: To offend people on the other side.
Q: Why did the block cross the road?
A: To find itself a writer.
Q: Why did the writer cross the road?
A: To get more experience for his novel. (Ha! Bet you thought it was to get away from the block.)
Q: Why did The Beatles cross the road?
A: To pose for an album cover.
Q: Why did the funny bone technician cross the road?
A: He had nothing better to do after finishing his blog.
Labels:
abbey road,
beatles,
chicken,
dali,
donald trump,
funny bone,
poem,
surrealist,
toad
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
UNCLASSIFIED ADS
CAR FOR SALE: 2013 Ford Dodge 4 Door Blue. Great Condition! Like new only it is not new. Asking $1,000,000.00, but willing to take less. Call . . .
ANTIQUES FOR SALE: Glass Jewellery Furniture China and Russia. Call . . .
HANDYMAN: Minor renovations. Minor electrical and plumbing repairs. Major full body massage. Call . . .
WANTED: Punctuation for busy downtown paragraph. Experience not necessary. Excellent salary and benefits. References required. Apply . . .
APARTMENT FOR RENT: Two bedroom unfurnished apartment for rent in quiet noisy neighborhood. Close to public transit, shopping, and eternity. Available immediately. Rent - $1,000,000.00 per month, but willing to take less. Call . . .
COMPANION WANTED: Single funny funny bone seeks single funny elbow for long-term relationship. Elbow must enjoy bending and have an arm and a body attached. Call . . .
Labels:
antiques,
apartment,
Car,
china,
classified ads,
dodge,
elbow,
ford,
funny bone,
massage,
punctuation,
relationship,
rent,
russia
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