All About Bedbugs

A bedbug walked into a bar and the bartender said, "What will it be?"

The bedbug said, "Bring me a Mary, please, and I'll make her Bloody."

"Why did the bedbug cross the road?"

"Why?"

"It was following a Mary who ran from the bar."

"How many bedbugs does it take to change a light bulb?

"How many?"

Two.  One to change the light bulb, and the other to change the light bulb."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Neither do bedbugs changing light bulbs."

"Knock.  Knock."

"Who is there?"

"Aren't you."

"Aren't you who?"

"Aren't you glad I'm not a bedbug?"

"Where do bedbugs like to shop?"

"Where?"

"Everywhere except a pesticide store."

Movie - Bloody War -  Bedbugs join forces with vampires to fight the Red Cross for a blood bank.

(Based on the novel by Itchy Saurez)

If The Beatles had been The Bedbugs, then some of their song titles would be,
I Wanna Scratch Your Hand
Eleanor Biteme
Bloody Lane
Beds In Fields Forever
All You Need Is Blood
She Bites You
All My Scratching
Can't Buy Me Pesticides
Scratch and Shout
Nowhere Bug

http://www.torontosun.com/2017/08/01/bedbugs-gone-wild

CROSSING THE ROAD

(Behind George Harrison, but out of frame, was the fifth Beatle -- a chicken.)

Q:  Why did the road cross the road?

A:  To get even with the road that once had crossed it.

Q:  Why did the surrealist painter cross the road?

A:  To Dali to the other side.


Q:  Why did Salvadore Dali cross the road?
A:  To get away from a pesty surrealist painter.    


Q:  Why did the poem cross the road?
A:  To sing nice rhymes with a toad.


Q:  Why did the toad cross the road?
A:  It got tired of hanging out with walking poems.


Q:  Why did Donald Trump cross the road?
A:  To offend people on the other side.


Q:  Why did the block cross the road?
A:  To find itself a writer.


Q:  Why did the writer cross the road?
A:  To get more experience for his novel.  (Ha!  Bet you thought it was to get away from the block.)


Q:  Why did The Beatles cross the road?
A:  To pose for an album cover.


Q:  Why did the funny bone technician cross the road?
A:  He had nothing better to do after finishing his blog.

WHAT BUGS BUGS?

WHAT IS LOVE?

Love is blind?  How did it go blind?  Improper diet?   Macular degeneration?  Masturbation?

God is Love, but you would never know it looking at organized religion.

  

You know you're in love when you don't mind your lover barfing on you.

 
True love?  How can it be anything else?  If love isn't true, then it isn't love. 

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have set the time on a melting clock.    
                                                 - Salvador Dali