DO I HAVE TOO MUCH HANS ON MY TIME?

Do I have to much Hans on my time?  I do whenever my fat neighbor Hans sits on my watch.

I never know when Hans is going to show up.  He never calls.  He knocks at my door.  When I answer he asks, "May I sit on your watch?"  I let him in.  I take off my watch.  He sits on it and smiles.  After several minutes, he gets up and leaves thanking me on his way out.

I always think of questions while Hans is on my time:

What does the moon eat to get full?

Do whores love their work?

Why do I keep falling asleep when I read books about insomnia?

Are marriage and serenity compatible?

Can a void be organic?

Does Nothing have an identity crisis when it is Impossible?

Why am I afraid to ask Hans why he enjoys sitting on my time?

ADVERTISEMENTS YOU WILL NOT SEE . . .

BACK BY UNPOPULAR DEMAND - THE BIRD FLU AND THE EBOLA VIRUS TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME!

Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get infected by not one virus, but two at the same time.  Think of the sympathy you will receive not to mention a stronger immune system if you survive . . . 

***

EARTH FOR SALE

Asking 2 Trillion Gazillion Dollars*

• 196,939,900 square miles
• Lots of parking space
• Easy access to the Moon
• Comes with its own atmosphere  
• Close to other planets

*Price includes 7 billion human beings plus all the other earthlings

***  

ORGANIC POISON FOR SALE

Murderers poison your victims in a healthy way . . . 

***


FRESH BLOOD SALE
AT
HELLIONS 'R' US
666 Incubus Way
(Open 7 Days a week from sunset to sunrise)

***  

HALF A BRAIN FOR SALE
In mint condition
Rarely used
Two Cents or Best Offer
Call . . . 

***   

THE END FOR SALE
No reasonable offer refused

 

MISCELLANEOUS STUFF THAT CAME FROM THE MISCELLANEOUS FILE IN MY HEAD

An investigative rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-who?"  Cock-a-doodle-what?  Cock-a-doodle-when?  Cock-a-doodle-where?  Cock-a-doodle-why?"  

***

Would you trust a nutritionist whose idea of a healthy breakfast is organic coffee and a cigarette?

***

Does my courage resist stains and odors?  Is my courage dishwasher-safe?

***

I will fight, to the death, for assisted suicide! 

WHAT BUGS BUGS?

THERE ARE ONLY . . .

 

AND BEFORE I CLOSE . . .