ADVERTISEMENTS YOU WILL NOT SEE . . .

BACK BY UNPOPULAR DEMAND - THE BIRD FLU AND THE EBOLA VIRUS TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME!

Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get infected by not one virus, but two at the same time.  Think of the sympathy you will receive not to mention a stronger immune system if you survive . . . 

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EARTH FOR SALE

Asking 2 Trillion Gazillion Dollars*

• 196,939,900 square miles
• Lots of parking space
• Easy access to the Moon
• Comes with its own atmosphere  
• Close to other planets

*Price includes 7 billion human beings plus all the other earthlings

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ORGANIC POISON FOR SALE

Murderers poison your victims in a healthy way . . . 

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FRESH BLOOD SALE
AT
HELLIONS 'R' US
666 Incubus Way
(Open 7 Days a week from sunset to sunrise)

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HALF A BRAIN FOR SALE
In mint condition
Rarely used
Two Cents or Best Offer
Call . . . 

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THE END FOR SALE
No reasonable offer refused

 

HONORING DRACULA ON DECEMBER SECOND

Tuesday December 2, 2014, is Dracula Day.  Why?  Just for the hell of it.  No other reason.  December Second has no connection to Dracula or vampires.  So, whether or not December Second sucks, Dracula, this day is for you -- actually only after sunset.


Dracula walks into a bar and the bartender says,"I know, I know, you want a Bloody Mary."
"No," says Dracula, "I'll have a glass of water, please."
"Water?  Water?" says the bartender.  "Since when did you start drinking water?"
Dracula replies, "Ever since Frankenstein caught Ebola from The Wolfman." 


"Hello Mr. Dracula?  Yes, this is your bank manager calling.  I am calling to let you know that your bank account is still in the red . . ."

Q:  Why did Dracula cross the road?

A:  To take his clothes to the cleaners.