ALL ABOUT THE WIND

Does the wind ever have a bad hair day?


How come you never see the wind on a computer, reading a book or watching television?


Does the wind blow farts?


Does the wind have a watch?  If so, then how does the wind wind its watch?


Does the wind know the answer, my friend?


"Why did the wind cross the road?"
"It was blowing that way."


Does the wind have any other skills besides blowing?


The wind blows into a bar and the bartender says, "What will it be?"
The wind says, "Don't be silly!  I, the wind, can't talk.  How can you expect me to order anything?"
"Sorry," says the bartender.
And the wind leaves in a huff.

DO I HAVE TOO MUCH HANS ON MY TIME?

Do I have to much Hans on my time?  I do whenever my fat neighbor Hans sits on my watch.

I never know when Hans is going to show up.  He never calls.  He knocks at my door.  When I answer he asks, "May I sit on your watch?"  I let him in.  I take off my watch.  He sits on it and smiles.  After several minutes, he gets up and leaves thanking me on his way out.

I always think of questions while Hans is on my time:

What does the moon eat to get full?

Do whores love their work?

Why do I keep falling asleep when I read books about insomnia?

Are marriage and serenity compatible?

Can a void be organic?

Does Nothing have an identity crisis when it is Impossible?

Why am I afraid to ask Hans why he enjoys sitting on my time?

GREAT INVENTIONS THAT EXIST ONLY IN THIS BLOG

Steam-Engine Wrist Watch   (Never needs batteries, but you may burn your wrist if you are not careful)



Me Phone  (For people with English that ain't that good)



Flying Butter  (Will be a great invention when someone invents flying bread)



Heavy Bulb  (Lasts a thousand times longer than a Light Bulb)



We interrupt this blog to bring you Space, The Final Frontier . . .


















We now return you to this blog about great inventions . . .



Mistakes That Erase Themselves  (A politician's dream)



Black and White Rainbows  (For people who cannot see colors)



Sunshine Memories  (Used on rainy days)



That's Enough  (Used instead of The End)

MY WATCH

What a pleasure to look at my watch!  It is simple.  It displays the time.  That is all it does.  That is its only function.  It is not a computer, calculator, calendar, camera or toilet.  I have only to look at it to see the time.  No logon I.D.  No password.  No application.  No keypad.  

How refeshing seeing such simplicity!  We live in a time when our lives are complicated with the Internet, e-mail, text messages, cell phones, computers, etc.  I am not against this technology, but how hard to get away from it.  We are surrounded by it.

For the few seconds I look at my watch, I am transported away from the chaotic digital circus.  I am taken to Simple -- a place of silence, peace and quiet.  I return restored and rejuvenated.  I go on vacation every time I look at my watch!