Stupid Sun Jokes

Sun walked into a bar and the bartender said, "What will it be?"
"I'll have a glass of hydrogen, please," said Sun.
"Would you like some helium with that?" asked the bartender.
"Sure," said Sun.
The bartender returned with a glass consisting of  74.9% hydrogen, 23.8% helium, and the rest a mixture of oxygen, carbon, neon and iron.
"Hmmm.  This tastes like me," said Sun.
"Yeah," said the bartender, "I'm also an astrophysicist."
Sun downed its drink.
"May I have another?" asked Sun.
"Listen Sun," said the bartender, "this joke isn't going anywhere.  Let's stop it now, and see whether that funny bone guy can come up with any other stupid jokes?"
"Okay," said Sun.


To protect itself, does Sun wear sunscreen?


"How many suns does it take to change a light  bulb?"
"I dunno."
"None.  Burned out lights don't matter when Sun is around."

"Knock.  Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Sun."

"Sun who?"

"Sunspot."

"Sunspot what?"

"Sunspot stupid jokes and not laugh."

"Why did Sun cross the road?"

"Why?"

"It was shining on a chicken."

"Those jokes are stupid," said the bartender.

"Yeah," said Sun. "That funny bone guy shouldn't quit his night job.  Thanks for the drink."
Sun got up, left the bar and walked off into itself setting.

There was The Lone Ranger riding off into the sunset.
"You look lost," said Sun.
"I am a bit," said The Lone Ranger. "I thought there was a bar around here owned by an astrophysicist."
"There is," said Sun. "It's back that way."
"Thanks," said The Lone Ranger. "I'm thinking about asking out a star, and hope the bartender can give me some information about her."
The Lone Ranger turned around and rode east, and Sun continued going west thinking, "Gawd, that funny bone guy will come up with anything to fill up a blog."   

ALL ABOUT GAWK

"Why did the gawk cross the road?"
"Why?"
"To stare on the other side."

"Knock.  Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Gawk."

"Gawk who?"

"Aren't you supposed to say 'Yahoo' when you're happy?"

"How many gawks does it take to change a light bulb?"

"How many?"

"Two.  One to change the bulb and the other to gawk."

HEADLINE:  GAWK CHARGED FOR STEALING STARES

"What does a gawk see when it gawks?"

"I don't know."

"Whatever it is gawking at."

If God was a gawk, then his holy book would be The Eyeble.

HEADLINE:  GAY GAWK FIGHTS FOR SAME-STARE MARRIAGE

A gawk walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What are you gawking at?"

And the gawk says, "Duh . . .  The End?"

EARTH DAY