What does a grasshopper think about between jumps? Politics? Religion? How to be the best pests?
Here are some grasshopper thoughts:
"Did Lee Harvey Oswald have a sex change? Was he once a woman who was dumped by JFK, and had a sex-change operation before getting revenge?"
"I'm getting tired of eating plants. Should I try that brown stuff the flies eat?"
"I could jump higher if they repealed the Law of Gravity."
"How come I only see my twin when I look in the water?"
"How much money would I make if I started selling grass?"
"How come we grasshoppers never make it to the Olympics?"
"Should I walk instead of jump?"
"Public transit sucks on this lawn!"
"How many grasshoppers die, each year, from overdosing on weed?"
"Eeeewww! This brown stuff tastes like shit!"
"What do sound like when I think?"
Snow White and the Seven Drug Addicts
The Ant and the Grasshopper: A Tale of True Love
GINGERBREAD MAN BECOMES GINGERBREAD WOMAN
Alice's Adventures Online
Beauty and the Feast: How One Woman Strayed From Her Diet
The Boy Who Cried Wolves Instead of Tears: A Modern Medicine Mystery
CINDERELLA SUES FAIRY GODMOTHER OVER GLASS SLIPPER INJURY
Stupid and Psyche
The Emperor's New Clothes: Made In China
Men Are From East of the Sun, Women Are From West of the Moon
ANT AND GRASSHOPPER FIRST TO MARRY AFTER MARRIAGE-LAW CHANGE
The Fisherman and His Wife and Prince Hamlet: A Tale of Wishes Greed and Procrastination
The Goose, the Golden Eggs, and the Federal Reserve
Jack and the Skyscraper
SNOW WHITE CHARGED WITH POSSESSION OF COCAINE
The Princess and the Pee: One Woman's Battle With Her Bladder
Singood the Sailor Saint
Sleeping Beauty, Waking Ugly
FUNNY BONE BLOGGER HAS TOO MUCH TIME ON HIS HANDS
