USELESS THOUGHTS

Should I start a company called Problems Unlimited?  People who don't have enough problems can buy more from me. 



Why don't they privatize Hell and allow Satan to contract out your sins?  
"It wasn't my fault, officer, the contractor did it." 



Can I get my money back if there is nothing after death?



Is enlightenment an army of of light bulbs?




At what point does the present become the future?




Do flood warnings apply to fish? 



Replace my negative thoughts with positive thoughts?   Isn't it easier to replace my negative thoughts with plus signs?  



Would I be happier if I lowered my expectations?



Do I spend too much time thinking and not enough time doing?

SO MUCH FOR SELF HELP

 

I tried to transform my problems into opportunities, but my transformation machine broke down.  This machine is impossible to fix because it doesn't exist.

I'm afraid I worry too much about getting free from fear and anxiety.

I want to unburden myself from my past resentments, but I forget where I left them.  They're around here somewhere.

I am trying to create an action plan for happiness, but keep loosing when I play the lotteries.

Perhaps I should forget all this self-help crap and become a rock.  There are no unhappy rocks, but there are lots of Gladstones.

See how happy William Ewart Gladstone is?

 

HODGEPODGE . . .

 

All of life's problems are opportunities in disguise. Poor picture reception on my television inspired "The Starry Night." - Vincent Van Gogh