ATTENTION TTC CUSTOMERS

ATTENTION TTC CUSTOMERS:

We are currently experiencing delays everywhere.
We apologize for the inconvenience, but we are not sincere.  Individually, none of us is sorry or really cares.

THANK YOU FOR USING THE TTC.*

*Toronto Transit Commission

Reasons For Toronto Public Transit Delays

Everyday Toronto's public transit system gets delayed.  Here are some reasons:

- Union rules call for at least one delay per day.

- It's a secret, but trees take public transit.  Their roots often get stuck in the subway tracks.

- Transit workers stage mini strikes for various reasons.

-  All vehicles get two 15 minute breaks and a half hour for lunch.

-  A dog ate the vehicle schedules.

-  Delays are Donald Trump's fault.  Why not?  He gets blamed for everything else.

-  Giant rats have taken over the subway tunnels.

-  Delays are part of a Russian plot to fix U.S. elections. (What is the connection between Toronto's public transit and U.S. elections?  We don't know, but the FBI is investigating.)

-  Delays are done on purpose.  Every day, Toronto's public transit asks, "How many people can we make late today?"

HODGEPODGE . . .