Everyday Toronto's public transit system gets delayed. Here are some reasons:
- Union rules call for at least one delay per day.
- It's a secret, but trees take public transit. Their roots often get stuck in the subway tracks.
- Transit workers stage mini strikes for various reasons.
- All vehicles get two 15 minute breaks and a half hour for lunch.
- A dog ate the vehicle schedules.
- Delays are Donald Trump's fault. Why not? He gets blamed for everything else.
- Giant rats have taken over the subway tunnels.
- Delays are part of a Russian plot to fix U.S. elections. (What is the connection between Toronto's public transit and U.S. elections? We don't know, but the FBI is investigating.)
- Delays are done on purpose. Every day, Toronto's public transit asks, "How many people can we make late today?"
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