BAD POETRY

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I wish you weren't here
So I could be with you

*

I saw a World in a Grain of Sand
And Heaven in a Wild Flower.
And then I thought,
"I better get my eyes checked." 

*

Jack and Jill went up the hill to-
(CENSORED) 

*

The wheels on the bus go round and round
The sun across the sky goes up and down
And here I am on the ground wondering,
"What else rhymes with round?"

*

How do I love thee?
I would love to count the ways,
But I can't count.

*

Pooma pooma pooma
Dippy demi dooma
Isket bisket gooma
Pooma pooma pooma

* 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood.
And then I went home alone
And wrote down this poem.


*

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This is The End
And it doesn't rhyme

Gary Johnston gratefully acknowledges the support he receives from the English Alphabet. 

HAVE A NICE KUMQUAT!

Kumquat.  I have always loved that word!  I was a teenager the first time I heard the word kumquat.  I had one thing only on my mind.  I thought kumquat was another name for vagina.

I have never had one -- kumquat that is.  I hear a kumquat tastes like a tangerine and lime combined.  Apparently, the edible skin is the sweetest part. 

If you weren't going to eat a kumquat, then what could you do with it?

 

 Glue a bunch together

 And make a kumquat dress

But if the glue does not hold

 Then you have a mess 

Put it on a stand

Pretend it's a TV

Watch it watch it watch it

And see what you can see

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's me.  What are you doing?"

"I'm watching kumquat."
"Yeah, I saw it last night.  My favorite part is everything."

"Damn!  Now you ruined it for me."

Use kumquat as a mantra 

Instead of chanting, "Om"

Have a fruity meditation

In the comfort of your home   

 Roses are red

Kumquats are orange

I better stop

before the Bad-Verse Police arrest me for making the world a verse place.

Have a nice kumquat! 

SOME OF THE LOVES OF MY LIFE . . .

I met a crop circle while playing the field.    We dated for awhile, but it didn't work out.  We could never agree on whether I was real, or a hoax.

I once dated a USB flash drive, but it didn't work out.  She would gigabyte me each time we kissed.

And then there was the time I dated a poem.  How shocked I was when it dumped me for buying it red roses and blue violets.

I went out with a stained glass window.  We had a great relationship until it broke.

I suppose I could go on, but I don't dislike you.  Let me close by saying that I have never dated a muse.  Perhaps one day I will.  If I did, then she would inspire me to come up with better blogs.