BAD POETRY

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I wish you weren't here
So I could be with you

*

I saw a World in a Grain of Sand
And Heaven in a Wild Flower.
And then I thought,
"I better get my eyes checked." 

*

Jack and Jill went up the hill to-
(CENSORED) 

*

The wheels on the bus go round and round
The sun across the sky goes up and down
And here I am on the ground wondering,
"What else rhymes with round?"

*

How do I love thee?
I would love to count the ways,
But I can't count.

*

Pooma pooma pooma
Dippy demi dooma
Isket bisket gooma
Pooma pooma pooma

* 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood.
And then I went home alone
And wrote down this poem.


*

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This is The End
And it doesn't rhyme

Gary Johnston gratefully acknowledges the support he receives from the English Alphabet. 

UNCENSORED NURSERY RHYMES!

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone
But when she got there
The cupboard was bare
And her poor dog suffered a nervous breakdown
And Old Mother Hubbard was charged with having sex with an underage dog, and cruelty to animals


Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
People would ask, "Who is the father?  Do you know?"


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
(What happened next is none of your business)  


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't care less


Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
Who sat down beside her
(What happened next is none of your business)


 Do you know the Muffin Man,
The Muffin Man,
The Muffin Man?
Do you know the Muffin Man
Who lives in Drury Lane?

Yes, I know the Muffin Man,
The Muffin Man,
The Muffin Man.
Yes, I know the Muffin Man
Who lives in Drury Lane. 

You do?  Well he's a pervert!


Rain rain go away
Come again another day 
Rain rain go away 
It's The End 

IT IS 4:00 A.M. AND I MUST WRITE SOMETHING !

I will not allow my imaginary friends to set unrealistic expectations.

I have never had an epiphany, but I have faked a few.

I am skilled at being unskilled.  Should I run for office?

On books?   I enjoy any book containing words.  Currently  I am reading  A History of History  by Itis Bygone.  I'm still afraid to read books about phobias.

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water.

Jack came down with The Ten Commandments

Moses was pissed

And Jill became a hermit.

(Eventually she got her own Reality TV show.) 

Some beavers are apathetic, and some give a damn.

I do not belong here.  My soul was on its way to another planet when Cosmic Post screwed up, and delivered it to Earth.   The planet my soul was supposed to go to is a planet where sensitive and honest people are not ridiculed for being sensitive and honest.  It is a planet where corporations rely on the Arts for financial support.  I cannot tell you more because of  a confidentiality agreement which was part of the settlement with Cosmic Post. 

It is 4:00 a.m. and I must write something!