MY BOOK OF QUESTIONS

My Book of  Questions was recently published on the planet Jargonthynos.  The date for the publication of an Earth edition is not known.  Here is an excerpt:

Are dogs lucky that fire hydrants never complain?  


Do fire hydrants have low self-esteem?

What perverse pleasure does God get by sending earthquakes, hurricanes, and other disasters?

Was there a fifth season whose murder was committed and covered up by the CIA?


Is "Icon" something a jailbird says who does not know the word "am" and the indefinite article "a"?


How come black holes don't have a reality show?


What make and model of car does God drive?  Does he get good deals on gas?


Are sweepstakes brooms made from cows?


Has the world ended yet?

IT IS 4:00 A.M. AND I MUST WRITE SOMETHING !

I will not allow my imaginary friends to set unrealistic expectations.

I have never had an epiphany, but I have faked a few.

I am skilled at being unskilled.  Should I run for office?

On books?   I enjoy any book containing words.  Currently  I am reading  A History of History  by Itis Bygone.  I'm still afraid to read books about phobias.

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water.

Jack came down with The Ten Commandments

Moses was pissed

And Jill became a hermit.

(Eventually she got her own Reality TV show.) 

Some beavers are apathetic, and some give a damn.

I do not belong here.  My soul was on its way to another planet when Cosmic Post screwed up, and delivered it to Earth.   The planet my soul was supposed to go to is a planet where sensitive and honest people are not ridiculed for being sensitive and honest.  It is a planet where corporations rely on the Arts for financial support.  I cannot tell you more because of  a confidentiality agreement which was part of the settlement with Cosmic Post. 

It is 4:00 a.m. and I must write something!