SHORT STORY IDEAS . . .

During a hurricane, the son of a bitch battles the storm to stop fleas from blowing away.

 *

The night before the U.S. presidential election, John F. Kennedy appears on television shouting, "April Fools!  April Fools!"

*

A feminist, hired by the post office, leads a campaign to stamp out all-male mail boxes.

*

An hallucination teams up with a dream to fight against a gang of imagination killers.

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Years of financial hardship and never-ending work, makes a single parent break into a prison to get a break.

*

After surviving a forest fire, a tree turns to a life of crime by robbing branches of banks and giving leaves to the poor.

*

As a plague rages across the globe, a funny bone technician says, "I'm outta this blog before I get sick!"

OVERHEARD

"When I grow up," said the little breeze, "I want to be a hurricane and help people move."

***

"I wish more humans appreciated me," said Earth.

***

"I want to measure up in everything I do," said the ruler.

***

"Why can't I put my human on silence?" asks the cell phone.

***

"I like to drink out of that bowl.  I wish my master would stop peeing in it," said the dog.

***

"Oh the stories I could tell!  I should write a book," said the fly on the wall.

***

"This is it," said The End.

RANDOM QUESTIONS AND ONE LINERS

Is a hurricane Nartue's way of spring cleaning?

I would like to buy a house, but I have only enough money saved to make a down payment on a brick. 

I overheard my ass ask, "Do his clothes make my human look big?"

I found out the hard way that soap and water should not be used for lawn care.

Stay away from people whose money comes with washing instructions.

People who live in glass houses must spend a fortune on window cleaners.

Are trees illiterate?  Have you ever seen a tree reading a book?

Should I stop now?

FAMOUS WORDS OF . . .

A Hurricane:  "Oops!"   

A Polar Vortex:  "Freeze!  Don't move."

A Clock:  "What time am I?"

A Forest:  "I heard a tree fall!  I heard a tree fall!"

Facebook:  "I spend waaay too much time with people."

A Space:  "                                              ." 

A Mirror:  "What are you looking at?"

A Terrorist:  "What can we do to make a magazine famous?"

Eternity:  "Why do I go on and on and on and on?"

An End:  "I'm not an end, I am THE END."