A BREAK FROM REALITY

I have a house in The Twilight Zone.  Sometimes I live in it, and sometimes I rent it to the voices in my head when they want to take a break from me.

My house is detached.  It has four bedrooms, a large living room, a large dining room, a large kitchen, and a large large.  I still haven't figured out what a large is.  But my house is like this sometimes.  Other times the same house is a semi-detached two-bedroom nothing-much.  It all depends upon the house's mood.

My house is on a quiet cul-de-sac with two other houses.  In one house live aliens who hardly spend time at home.  They work in a Walmart on Mars.  In the other house lives The Invisible Man and his family.  I never see them.

It's nice to live in The Twilight Zone.  It gives me a break from reality.  

RANDOM QUESTIONS AND ONE LINERS

Is a hurricane Nartue's way of spring cleaning?

I would like to buy a house, but I have only enough money saved to make a down payment on a brick. 

I overheard my ass ask, "Do his clothes make my human look big?"

I found out the hard way that soap and water should not be used for lawn care.

Stay away from people whose money comes with washing instructions.

People who live in glass houses must spend a fortune on window cleaners.

Are trees illiterate?  Have you ever seen a tree reading a book?

Should I stop now?

THIS HOUSE

The front door is this house's mouth.

The windows are its eyes.

When it opens its mouth this house says, "People!"

Is this house very wise?