Some Things I Like

BANANAS
I like bananas.  Bananas are the cure for which there is no known disease.  I could eat bananas all the time and never get tired of them.  I like them so much that I don't care whether people call me a monkey.


THE CANADIAN PLUNGER SOCIETY
I like going to weekly meetings with plungers, and socializing with plungers.  I feel a kinship with plungers because of the crap in my life.  The plungers help me to deal with it.


THE SUN
I like the Sun.  It makes me feel warm.  But I can only take the Sun during the day.  I have no desire to see the Sun at night.


UROTURIES
I like uroturies.  I don't know why, but I do.  I don't know what uroturies are, but this does not stop me from liking them.  Uroturies are cool!


WORMHOLES
I like wormholes.  I don't like holes made by worms, but the connections between regions of space and time.  Wormholes are fun!

Wasn't it fun going through that wormhole to

The End?

CALL ME CRAZY IF YOU WANT . . .

Call me crazy if you want, but I swear I saw Osama bin Laden, Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis Presley having a coffee at a Starbucks. (I wanted to ask Osama for his birth certificate, but lost my courage.)

Call me crazy if you want, but pink elephants own all the liquor stores.

Call me crazy if you want, but cannibals stole Walt Disney's  frozen body and used it to invent a new ice-cream flavor: anti-Semite.

Call me crazy if you want, but somewhere on this planet is an Area 52.

Call me crazy if you want, but Michael Jackson did not die.  He went into hiding to practise tiddlywinks, and one day plans to emerge as the world champion.

Call me crazy if you want, but I am considering a proposal from Serpent Real Estate.  They are selling a garden with an apple tree. Should I buy it?

Call me crazy if you want, but I am looking for an honest politician.

Call me crazy if you want, but I joined The National Plunger Society.  Now the only block in my life is the one I live on.

Call me crazy if you want, but aliens abducted me; whizzed me around the Universe while showing me my future: taxes, death and more taxes.  Then they dropped me off at a Starbucks.

Call me crazy if you want . . .