Not All About Christmas

"Why did Christmas cross the road?"
"Why?"
"To meet Merry on the other side."


"What did Christmas say to Merry?"
"What?"
"Christmas said, 'We belong together.' "

Christmas walked into a bar and the bartender said, "What will it be?"
And Christmas said, "I would like Peace on Earth and Goodwill to All."
"You're crazy!" screamed the bartender and the bouncer threw Christmas out.

"How many Christmases does it take to change a light bulb?"
"How many?"
"Two.  One to change the light bulb and the other to go shopping."

"Knock.  Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas who?"

"Merry Christmas to you."

CALL ME CRAZY IF YOU WANT . . .

Call me crazy if you want, but I swear I saw Osama bin Laden, Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis Presley having a coffee at a Starbucks. (I wanted to ask Osama for his birth certificate, but lost my courage.)

Call me crazy if you want, but pink elephants own all the liquor stores.

Call me crazy if you want, but cannibals stole Walt Disney's  frozen body and used it to invent a new ice-cream flavor: anti-Semite.

Call me crazy if you want, but somewhere on this planet is an Area 52.

Call me crazy if you want, but Michael Jackson did not die.  He went into hiding to practise tiddlywinks, and one day plans to emerge as the world champion.

Call me crazy if you want, but I am considering a proposal from Serpent Real Estate.  They are selling a garden with an apple tree. Should I buy it?

Call me crazy if you want, but I am looking for an honest politician.

Call me crazy if you want, but I joined The National Plunger Society.  Now the only block in my life is the one I live on.

Call me crazy if you want, but aliens abducted me; whizzed me around the Universe while showing me my future: taxes, death and more taxes.  Then they dropped me off at a Starbucks.

Call me crazy if you want . . .