CLUBS, ORGANIZTIONS AND ASSOCIATIONS THAT EXIST SOMEWHERE

The Association of Lottery Losers  (ALL)



Common Sense Club  (CSC)



Bad Smells Incorporated  (BSI)



The Green Cheese Moon Society  (GCMS)



The Wholesale Holistic Poison Store



The Sickness And Death Clinic



The Future Life Regression Place



The Descended Masters' Palace



The Probiotic Robots' Colon Club


The End

KENNETH KABOOK KABONGA PREDICTS SOME STUFF FOR THE FUTURE

City of the Future

Kenneth Kabook Kabonga, a nobody in particular, got a degree in making predictions at the University of Eggs, in Chickenville, Ontario.  (I hope you laugh at the yolks even if they're not punny.)

Kenneth Kabonga, or KKK as his friends call him, closed his eyes and made the following predictions for the future:

- People will have beds that undress them at night, dress them and the morning, and then the beds will make themselves.

- There will be invisible pet food for invisible pets.

- People will own coffee makers that do their income taxes, too, as well as keep a family budget.

- Hot cats will replace hot dogs.

- People will eat carbonated popcorn made from soda pop and corn.

- There will be self-cleaning diapers for the young and old.

- No need for mosquito repellent.  Scientists will breed mosquitoes that suck air instead of blood.

-  People will do less laundry because of self-cleaning clothes.

And finally, Kenneth Kabook Kabonga predicts that people will write better blogs in the future.

Here is what KKK sees when he closes his eyes:

SOME QUESTIONS AT A GROCERY STORE

Do fish aspire to end up in a grocery store? 



Can you use tomato paste to glue food?

Do avocados ever advocate?



If there is pasta, then where can I find a presenta and a futura?


Do beans fart?  If so, then how do they say, "Excuse me"?  Can beans talk?



Does the butcher ever pig-out?



Do the ghosts of dead cows haunt the meat department?



Shouldn't you get a discount on your groceries if you use self checkout?

 

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO TO KEEP THEIR KIDS ACTIVE

This is not about what parents can do to keep their children active.  It is only a nice irrelevant title to go with the following irrelevant stuff:

If you stop breathing, then you don't have to worry about polluted air.

***

In the future, things will be the same, but different.

***

Is massage French for message?

***

Be careful dating an e-mail.  You could catch a virus.

***

How long should you plan to be spontaneous? 

***

Is God's Will Jesus' brother William?

***

That's enough irrelevancy for now.  Some kids want me to come and play.

I WISH SOMEONE WOULD READ THIS

 

CALL ME CRAZY IF YOU WANT . . .

Call me crazy if you want, but I swear I saw Osama bin Laden, Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis Presley having a coffee at a Starbucks. (I wanted to ask Osama for his birth certificate, but lost my courage.)

Call me crazy if you want, but pink elephants own all the liquor stores.

Call me crazy if you want, but cannibals stole Walt Disney's  frozen body and used it to invent a new ice-cream flavor: anti-Semite.

Call me crazy if you want, but somewhere on this planet is an Area 52.

Call me crazy if you want, but Michael Jackson did not die.  He went into hiding to practise tiddlywinks, and one day plans to emerge as the world champion.

Call me crazy if you want, but I am considering a proposal from Serpent Real Estate.  They are selling a garden with an apple tree. Should I buy it?

Call me crazy if you want, but I am looking for an honest politician.

Call me crazy if you want, but I joined The National Plunger Society.  Now the only block in my life is the one I live on.

Call me crazy if you want, but aliens abducted me; whizzed me around the Universe while showing me my future: taxes, death and more taxes.  Then they dropped me off at a Starbucks.

Call me crazy if you want . . .