White Power

KENNETH KABOOK KABONGA PREDICTS SOME STUFF FOR THE FUTURE

City of the Future

Kenneth Kabook Kabonga, a nobody in particular, got a degree in making predictions at the University of Eggs, in Chickenville, Ontario.  (I hope you laugh at the yolks even if they're not punny.)

Kenneth Kabonga, or KKK as his friends call him, closed his eyes and made the following predictions for the future:

- People will have beds that undress them at night, dress them and the morning, and then the beds will make themselves.

- There will be invisible pet food for invisible pets.

- People will own coffee makers that do their income taxes, too, as well as keep a family budget.

- Hot cats will replace hot dogs.

- People will eat carbonated popcorn made from soda pop and corn.

- There will be self-cleaning diapers for the young and old.

- No need for mosquito repellent.  Scientists will breed mosquitoes that suck air instead of blood.

-  People will do less laundry because of self-cleaning clothes.

And finally, Kenneth Kabook Kabonga predicts that people will write better blogs in the future.

Here is what KKK sees when he closes his eyes:

MORE QUESTIONS?

How come people don't find their souls at Boot Camp?



Why is money valuable?  It's only paper.



Do books ever do laundry and change their covers?



Will I be able to draw tongues after I study the Art of Speech?



Is this the end of the questions?

I MUSE BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A LIFE . . .

Was Rodin's Thinker so immersed in thought that he didn't feel the pain while sitting naked on a rough rock?


Do fish ever go humaning?  If so, then what do they use as bait?  Money?  When fish catch a small human, do they throw it back on the land?


Judging by some of the people we see, shouldn't stores have a Beauty Department, and an Ugly Department?


It's March Break.  Who will fix it?


Laundry!  Yuck!  Why doesn't someone invent self-cleaning clothes, towels and bedding?


When you don't have a life, are you finished when you get to The End?

THOUGHTS AT A LAUNDROMAT . . .

Am I the only one who uses two plastic bags?  Why do people put clean laundry in the same bag they used for the dirty clothes?

I hope the stains come out of my underwear.  How many people have stains in their underwear that did not come out after one wash?  What kind of looks would I get if I asked?  Imagine if having stained underwear was against the law, and police did spot checks. 

"Honest, officer, I've washed my underwear three times and the stains won't come out . . .  Oh shit!  Are you gonna give me a ticket?  Can't you give me a break?"

 

There must be portals in washers and dryers that leads to the One-Sock Dimension.  Who created the One-Sock Dimension?  God's left foot?  How many mismatched socks live there?  Is the One-Sock Dimension a democracy, or is it ruled by one big-foot dictator?  Do socks ever leave the One-Sock Dimension and go somewhere else?

  

Ahhhhhhhh . . .  I love the smell of clothes from the dryer!  I wish they'd invent a spray that smelled like that.  I'd spray my blogs so they wouldn't stink.

TOP TEN THINGS THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO MALAYSIA AIRLINES FLIGHT 370

10 - It was hijacked by Lee Harvey Oswald who faked his death in November, 1963.  Oswald plans to land it in Dealey Plaza to give people something else to talk about for a change.

9 -  Shortly after takeoff, Flight 370 went grocery shopping.  It's still stuck in the "Express Lane" of the store.  The sign says, 8 Items or Less, but the jets ahead of Flight 370 have much more than 8 items and  should not be in that lane.

8 -  It went to a Zen meditation retreat to discover whether there's a sound if a plane crashes in a forest.

7 -  It's at a laundromat in Pakistan not only doing its laundry, but also doing the laundry of the 12 crew members, 227 passengers, and a partridge in a Pakistani pear tree.

6 -  It's online on Facebook.  It meant to go on Facebook for an hour or so back on March 8, and may be off Facebook any century now.

5 -  It was abducted by aliens who want to produce a hybrid race of grey aliens and Boeing 777's.  The aliens will release Flight 370 as soon as they figure out how to make it pregnant.

4 -  It's at a casino in Las Vegas feeding its gambling addiction.  (What are the odds of that happening?)

3 -  It took the crew and passengers to a theater in Germany to see The Neverending Story.

2 -  Just after takeoff,  it flew to Rancho Mirage, California and admitted itself to The Betty Ford Center.  Flight 370 wants to cure its addiction to jet fuel.

1 -  It's not missing.  Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 is not missing.  Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 never existed.   We have been fooled.  The whole story is an early April Fools' joke perpetrated by colorless green ideas sleeping furiously.