ON FRUITCAKES

A fruitcake walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Wow! I've had priests, rabbis, ministers, salesmen, etc., walk into my bar, but never a fruitcake."
And the fruitcake said, "Are you sure that none of them were fruitcakes?"



"Why did the fruitcake cross the road?"
"Why?"
"To nut and spice on the other side."
"I don't get it."
"That's okay, neither do I."



"How many fruitcakes does it take to change a light bulb?"
"I don't know.  How many?"
"One, but it makes itself invisible first."
"Why?"
"Because fruitcakes are considerate and know how shocked people would be of they saw fruitcakes changing light bulbs."

The bartender said, "So fruitcake, what will it be?"

But before the fruitcake answered, it looked at its cell phone's text message.

"Important?" asked the bartender.

"Yes," said the fruitcake.  "I'll be right back.  I gotta go to change a light bulb."

And the fruitcake disappeared.

KENNETH KABOOK KABONGA PREDICTS SOME STUFF FOR THE FUTURE

City of the Future

Kenneth Kabook Kabonga, a nobody in particular, got a degree in making predictions at the University of Eggs, in Chickenville, Ontario.  (I hope you laugh at the yolks even if they're not punny.)

Kenneth Kabonga, or KKK as his friends call him, closed his eyes and made the following predictions for the future:

- People will have beds that undress them at night, dress them and the morning, and then the beds will make themselves.

- There will be invisible pet food for invisible pets.

- People will own coffee makers that do their income taxes, too, as well as keep a family budget.

- Hot cats will replace hot dogs.

- People will eat carbonated popcorn made from soda pop and corn.

- There will be self-cleaning diapers for the young and old.

- No need for mosquito repellent.  Scientists will breed mosquitoes that suck air instead of blood.

-  People will do less laundry because of self-cleaning clothes.

And finally, Kenneth Kabook Kabonga predicts that people will write better blogs in the future.

Here is what KKK sees when he closes his eyes:

HOW COME . . .

How come Let me be perfectly clear doesn't mean Let me be invisible?


How come the word support never needs assistance?


How come my left hand is never right?


Even though they contain all the viruses, how come dictionaries never get sick?


How come a nonperson is still a person?


How come people don't know that The End Is Near was orginally The End Is Rear?