The Ides of March Conspiracy

Did Julius Caesar die on March 15, 44 B.C.?  Some say he was tipped off by a CIA informant about the plot against his life. Caesar hired a double to take his place at the Senate that fateful morning.  It was the double who was killed.

Caesar escaped and went to Mexico where he got into the salad-making business.  During an interview Caesar said, "I had it with politics.  You don't know who your friends are.  The instant you turn your back someone is sticking a knife in it."

Recently, some UFO abductees say they saw Caesar serving his salad to the aliens on board a flying saucer.  The abductees say that the aliens are keeping Caesar alive forever because they love his salad.

Adolph Hitler dismissed the Ides of March Conspiracy.  Hitler said, "Suggesting that anyone can fake his or her death and live in another country is ridiculous."  

A LITTLE TITANIC HUMOR 104 YEARS LATER

On Sunday April 14, 1912, at 11:40 p.m., the Titanic struck an iceberg.  The Titanic finally sunk, lower than the Canadian dollar, at 2:20 a.m. on Monday April 15, 1912.


The Titanic walks into a bar and the the bartender asks, "What will it be?"
The Titanic says, "I don't care as long as it's nice with no ice, please."


Q:  How many Titanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  One, but first you have to raise it from the bottom of the ocean.


Did the Titanic band finish playing "Nearer My God to Thee" before they were nearer to God than we?


Q:  Why did the Titanic cross the sea?
A:  It didn't.


THE TRUTH REVEALED!  TITANIC FAKED ITS DEATH AND IS CURRENTLY LIVING (UNDER AN ASSUMED NAME) SOMEWHERE IN SOUTH AMERICA WITH ELVIS PRESLEY AND ADOLPH HITLER!
(You read it here first.) 

CONSPIRACIES THAT NEVER HAPPENED

Elvis Presley killed President John F. Kennedy because Kennedy had an affair with one of Elvis' girlfriends.  Elvis faked his own death to avoid getting caught.  Elvis also killed Michael Jackson because Jackson found out about Elvis killing Kennedy and was going to expose Elvis.
Elvis remains at large.  There are rumors that he is living somewhere in Argentina with Adolph Hitler. 

 ***

Former Toronto Mayor Rob Ford was an undercover cop working to bust a cocaine cartel run by the CIA.  The CIA effectively stopped Rob Ford by creating a cocaine video about Ford taking cocaine.  The CIA leaked the video to the press.  The CIA also gave Rob Ford cancer.

*** 

A polluted ghost appeared to some members of Greenpeace and said, "Climate change is caused by hot air from politicians."

***

The numbers 5 + 4 and 8 + 3 were behind 911.

***

German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche killed God, and took his job.  (That's why things aren't going too well.)

***

"The truth is out there."

"Yeah?  Tell it to get inside before it catches a cold."