ALIEN REPORT I

The human beings call it "winter" here in the Northern Hemisphere.   The Earth is tilted on its axis away from the Sun.  Temperatures are so low that water freezes.

Humans have an odd winter activity.  They attach metal blades to their feet and balance themselves on frozen water.  Then they move around and around in oblong circles which is usually the shape of the large container holding the frozen water.   Sometimes the humans move clockwise, and sometimes they move counter clockwise.  Whatever the direction, they keep going round and round and round and round and round and round and . . .  

It does not take much to amuse human beings.
   

WELCOME TO EARTH . . .

Welcome to Earth.  Although no one will admit it, we are in the midst of World War III.  The great world powers are using the lesser world powers to fight WW III by proxy.  That way we can deny that WW III is happening, and feel safe.  So far, the only people winning WW III are those who make weapons.

We have many, many religions here.  These religions are the result of human error and misunderstanding, and have nothing to do with God.

Some of us appear not to like our planet Earth by the way we treat it.  It seems that we can't see the forest for the money from the trees.  Fortunately Earth is not like us and is not prone to revenge.  Earth does its best to support us no matter what we do.  Who knows how long Earth will show us such patience?

We would not be prone to revenge if we realized that we are human beings, and have more in common with each other than differences.  But we do not like thinking of ourselves as human beings.   Deep down we know that as human beings we are ignorant and irrational.  We deny this by thinking of ourselves as American, Canadian, Mexican, French, etc.  Perhaps if we saw ourselves as human beings, then there would be no WW III.
 
We all have courage, but most of us are afraid to use it. 

In spite of our ignorance and irrationality, we mean well. 

That is all I can think of for now.  I am not sure how long you are planning to stay, but you will get along fine if you do not think.

Thank you for choosing Earth.

ALL ABOUT EBOLA

An Ebola virus goes to its doctor and the doctor asks, "What seems to be the problem?"
The Ebola virus says, "I think I caught a human being."
"What makes you think that?" asks the doctor.
"Well," says the Ebola virus, "I've started thinking that my fellow viruses are causing all my problems and I want to kill them."
"Yep," says the doctor, "you've definitely caught a human being."  He starts writing a prescription.  "I'm going to prescribe a bottle of rational thinking.  It will get rid of your human being, and prevent you from being infected by others."

Q: Why did the Ebola virus cross the road?

A:  To infect a chicken.

An Ebola virus walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What will it be?"

The Ebola virus says, "I'll have a fever and sore throat on the rocks, thanks."

As the bartender fixes the drink he says, "You must be new around here.  I haven't seen you before."

"I've been around," says the Ebola virus, "I just never came in here.  It's lonely being famous.  I'm hoping to meet some other viruses to share the spotlight."

"You've come to the right place," says the bartender.  "You can pickup all kinds of viruses here.  This place is better than a hospital.  Our patrons include AIDS, Mad Cow, Gonorrhea, Malaria, and the flu to name a few."
"Well, where are they?" asks the Ebola virus.  "The place seems deserted."
"Don't worry," says the bartender, "they'll be here soon.  They always come at Unhappy Hour."

"Are you here for the same problem?" asks the doctor.

"No," says the Ebola virus, "I finished the bottle of rational thinking, and it cured me."

"So what's the problem?" asks the doctor.

"I'm depressed," says the Ebola virus.

"Why?" asks the doctor.

"The human being that had infected me," says the Ebola virus, "is on the Internet writing blogs."

"Don't worry," says the doctor, "no one will read them."

LOSE ENDS AND WHATNOT

Is this the box everyone is talking about?

What is inside the box that makes people say, "Think outside the box."

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The doctor says that I am safe for use in septic systems.   Now what?

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I saw my shadow on February 2, 2012.  That means we are going to get six more weeks of weather, and that the light was on.

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Today is February Sixth.   Last year this time it was February Sixth.  Is this a coincidence, or a conspiracy?

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Does the meaning of life have some thing to with vanilla beans?

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I am  looking forward to that future day when I will be happy living in the present.

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I want to move towards a better tomorrow, but I can't figure out how to stop tomorrow from becoming today.

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Am I a human being having a spiritual experience; a spiritual being having a human experience, or a big brown bald rock?

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I dream of becoming a famous parking space one day.

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How can nothing be the matter when matter is not nothing?
How can some thing be the matter when all things are matter?
Do answers to these questions matter?