ONCE UPON A TIME . . .

Once upon a time there was a listless man who was too lazy to finish this story.



Once upon a time there was a gold prospector who found a lot of gold while working.  He tried to carry the gold back to his home, but it was too heavy. He picked it up and had a heart attack and died.

What a relief!  This story was going nowhere.



Once upon a time there was a jealous bridesmaid.  She was jealous of the bride because the bridesmaid was in love with the broom.

"Don't you mean groom?"
No, it's my story and I say it's broom. 

The broom loved the bridesmaid more than he loved the bride.  He and the bridesmaid had swept together while he was sweeping with the bride.

The jealous bridesmaid killed the bride, and the bridesmaid and broom lived happily ever after.

The bride went to the afterlife where she met and fell in love with a gold prospector.  We don't know whether they lived happily ever after because Eternity hasn't ended yet.



Once upon a time there was a beekeeper who kept thousands and thousands of bees.

One day his neighbor asked, "Why do you keep so many bees?  Why don't you keep C's and D's?"

The beekeeper said, "I'm going to join the first manned mission to Mars."

"Uh?  What do you mean?"

"I decided to make this story absurd," said the beekeeper.  "Thanks for helping me do so."

"But all I did was ask you who started World War III?"

"Exactly!" said the beekeeper.



Once upon a time there was a rich man who lost all of his money because his telephone-washing business went bankrupt.  He became depressed and lazy.

One day a flash of inspiration hit him.

He said, "I think I will invade a blog and become its first story."

WELCOME TO EARTH . . .

Welcome to Earth.  Although no one will admit it, we are in the midst of World War III.  The great world powers are using the lesser world powers to fight WW III by proxy.  That way we can deny that WW III is happening, and feel safe.  So far, the only people winning WW III are those who make weapons.

We have many, many religions here.  These religions are the result of human error and misunderstanding, and have nothing to do with God.

Some of us appear not to like our planet Earth by the way we treat it.  It seems that we can't see the forest for the money from the trees.  Fortunately Earth is not like us and is not prone to revenge.  Earth does its best to support us no matter what we do.  Who knows how long Earth will show us such patience?

We would not be prone to revenge if we realized that we are human beings, and have more in common with each other than differences.  But we do not like thinking of ourselves as human beings.   Deep down we know that as human beings we are ignorant and irrational.  We deny this by thinking of ourselves as American, Canadian, Mexican, French, etc.  Perhaps if we saw ourselves as human beings, then there would be no WW III.
 
We all have courage, but most of us are afraid to use it. 

In spite of our ignorance and irrationality, we mean well. 

That is all I can think of for now.  I am not sure how long you are planning to stay, but you will get along fine if you do not think.

Thank you for choosing Earth.