ONCE UPON A TIME . . .

Once upon a time there was a listless man who was too lazy to finish this story.



Once upon a time there was a gold prospector who found a lot of gold while working.  He tried to carry the gold back to his home, but it was too heavy. He picked it up and had a heart attack and died.

What a relief!  This story was going nowhere.



Once upon a time there was a jealous bridesmaid.  She was jealous of the bride because the bridesmaid was in love with the broom.

"Don't you mean groom?"
No, it's my story and I say it's broom. 

The broom loved the bridesmaid more than he loved the bride.  He and the bridesmaid had swept together while he was sweeping with the bride.

The jealous bridesmaid killed the bride, and the bridesmaid and broom lived happily ever after.

The bride went to the afterlife where she met and fell in love with a gold prospector.  We don't know whether they lived happily ever after because Eternity hasn't ended yet.



Once upon a time there was a beekeeper who kept thousands and thousands of bees.

One day his neighbor asked, "Why do you keep so many bees?  Why don't you keep C's and D's?"

The beekeeper said, "I'm going to join the first manned mission to Mars."

"Uh?  What do you mean?"

"I decided to make this story absurd," said the beekeeper.  "Thanks for helping me do so."

"But all I did was ask you who started World War III?"

"Exactly!" said the beekeeper.



Once upon a time there was a rich man who lost all of his money because his telephone-washing business went bankrupt.  He became depressed and lazy.

One day a flash of inspiration hit him.

He said, "I think I will invade a blog and become its first story."