Valenhog's Day

Groundhog Day and Valentine's Day are only 12 days apart.  Why not save time and space by celebrating them together?  Think of the weight women would not gain if their partners gave shadows instead of chocolates.

I once dated a groundhog.  We met online.  For Valentine's Day, I gave her a bouquet of carrots. She was so excited she dug a thousand holes!

Our relationship ended suddenly during a trip to the country.  A farmer shouted, "Pest!" and shot her.

And on the subject of shooting, what's with Cupid? He should have been arrested years ago. How come he gets away with shooting arrows into people's hearts?  Shouldn't the police charge him with wounding or attempted murder?

We can call Groundhog Day and Valentine's Day 
Valenhog's Day.

What happens on Valenhog's Day?  If a heart sees its shadow, then we will have 6 more weeks of 42 days. If a heart does not see its shadow, then we will have 42 days of 6 more weeks.

GROUNDHOG QUESTIONS AND OTHER STUFF

Does a groundhog seeing its shadow have anything to do with Black History?

Do invisible groundhogs ever see their shadows?

Why did the ground hog cross the road?
It was following a chicken's shadow.

Why did another groundhog cross the road?
It didn't.  Roadkill.

A groundhog walks into a bar looking so sad and the bartender says, "What's wrong?"
The groundhog says, "Gimme a stiff drink.  My shadow left me for Peter Pan." 

(I used the following joke before, and am using it again because I have a bad memory.)

Jian Ghomeshi saw his shadow this morning, and it was Bill Cosby.


"Mommy, why do people think we can forecast the weather with our shadows?" asked the little groundhog.
"Who knows?" said the mother. "People think a lot of silly things."

THINGS GROUNDHOGS SAY

LOSE ENDS AND WHATNOT

Is this the box everyone is talking about?

What is inside the box that makes people say, "Think outside the box."

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The doctor says that I am safe for use in septic systems.   Now what?

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I saw my shadow on February 2, 2012.  That means we are going to get six more weeks of weather, and that the light was on.

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Today is February Sixth.   Last year this time it was February Sixth.  Is this a coincidence, or a conspiracy?

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Does the meaning of life have some thing to with vanilla beans?

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I am  looking forward to that future day when I will be happy living in the present.

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I want to move towards a better tomorrow, but I can't figure out how to stop tomorrow from becoming today.

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Am I a human being having a spiritual experience; a spiritual being having a human experience, or a big brown bald rock?

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I dream of becoming a famous parking space one day.

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How can nothing be the matter when matter is not nothing?
How can some thing be the matter when all things are matter?
Do answers to these questions matter?