Showing posts with label tomorrow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tomorrow. Show all posts
Monday, November 14, 2016
ON PROCRASTINATION
CREATIVE PROCRASTINATION 101
If you're just getting started as a procrastinator, and haven't decided what you are going to put off doing, then this course gives you the opportunity to put off a selection of different tasks. (We'll get back to you about location and cost.)
A procrastinator walked into a bar and the bartender said, "What will it be?"
The procrastinator said, "Uhhh . . . "
"How many procrastinators does it take to change a light bulb?"
"How many?"
"Just one, but he or she may never get around to doing it."
"Why did the procrastinator cross the road?"
"I don't know. Why?"
"To avoid doing things on the other side."
"Have you decided what you want?" asked the bartender.
"Yes," replied the procrastinator.
"Well? What?"
"I want more time to decide."
"What's a procrastinator's favorite word?"
"What?"
"No, not 'What.' It's tomorrow."
"Why didn't the procrastinator draw a circle?"
"I don't know. Why?"
"Because he never got around to it."
"Look," said the bartender, "I'm running a business here. If you can't decide what you want, then I'm going to ask you to leave."
"Okay," said the procrastinator, "I want a drink. . . "
"Well? What kind of drink?"
"A Gin and tonic," said the procrastinator.
"Hallelujah! He finally ordered a drink. One Gin and tonic coming up."
"Wait a minute," said the procrastinator. I'd like a Gin and tonic, but can I drink it tomorrow?"
Monday, February 6, 2012
LOSE ENDS AND WHATNOT
Is this the box everyone is talking about?
What is inside the box that makes people say, "Think outside the box."
***
The doctor says that I am safe for use in septic systems. Now what?
***
I saw my shadow on February 2, 2012. That means we are going to get six more weeks of weather, and that the light was on.
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Today is February Sixth. Last year this time it was February Sixth. Is this a coincidence, or a conspiracy?
***
Does the meaning of life have some thing to with vanilla beans?
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I am looking forward to that future day when I will be happy living in the present.
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I want to move towards a better tomorrow, but I can't figure out how to stop tomorrow from becoming today.
***
Am I a human being having a spiritual experience; a spiritual being having a human experience, or a big brown bald rock?
***
I dream of becoming a famous parking space one day.
***
How can nothing be the matter when matter is not nothing?
How can some thing be the matter when all things are matter?
Do answers to these questions matter?
I am looking forward to that future day when I will be happy living in the present.
***
***
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I dream of becoming a famous parking space one day.
***
How can nothing be the matter when matter is not nothing?
How can some thing be the matter when all things are matter?
Do answers to these questions matter?
How can some thing be the matter when all things are matter?
Do answers to these questions matter?
Labels:
experience,
Funny Bone Technician,
GARY JOHNSTON,
Groundhog Day,
human being,
matter,
meaning of life,
septic systems,
shadow,
spiritual being,
THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX,
today,
tomorrow,
vanilla beans,
weather
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