Stupid Cloud Jokes

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" asked one cloud to another.
The other said, "I haven't the foggiest."


After seeing its companion, the cloud said, "I mist you!"


"How can you tell whether a cloud is sad?"
"I don't know."
"It gets misty-eyed."


"What's a cloud's favorite engine?"
"What?"
"A steam engine."

Do clouds believe in climate change?

"Why do clouds like the sky?"

"Why?"

"Because the sky has a nice atmosphere."

"Where do clouds keep their money?"

"Where?"

"In their pockets."

"But clouds don't have pockets."

"Oh.  That explains why you never see clouds shopping."

"Why don't clouds take the bus?"

"Why?"

"Because they travel the sky for free."

WHAT DO CLOUDS THINK?

Thoughts of various clouds:

Is water 100% wet?

I'm getting fat and puffy.  Should I cut back on my water vapor?

Will Donald Clump become president of the United Skies?

They should charge pilots with trespassing!

I believe in the holy words of The Cloudel.  The sky would be a better place if every cloud read and followed The Cloudel.

What happens after we disperse?

Frank O'Grady has a lot of nerve going to Earth.  Our place is in the sky.

I had it a minute ago!  Where the hell did I put my silver lining?

THEY SAID THAT?

 

 

WINTER, CLOUDS AND DUST

Winter walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What will it be?"

Winter says, "I'll have a Climate Change, please."

"Hot or cold?" asks the bartender.

"Surprise me," says Winter.

A cloud walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I thought I said, 'Send in the clowns.'  What will it be?"

The cloud says, "I haven't the foggiest."

"You gotta order something," says the bartender.

"Okay," says the cloud, "I'll have a Climate Change."

"Hot or cold?" asks the bartender.

"I haven't the foggiest," says the cloud.

Some dust walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Achooo!"

The dust says, "You gotta keep away from Climate Change.  It's affecting your health, and I'm leaving now because I don't want you affecting my health."

 

UNNATURAL ACTS WITH NOODLES (PLUS OTHER TOPICS NOT RELATED TO NOODLES)

TWENTY THIRD CENTURY SURREALIST POETRY

The Emperor of the Fireflies

 The Emperor of the Fireflies

Locked up the moon in the garden

 And the man in the moon's hay fever

Threw a party that lasted for 647 sneezes

Before the ghost of Salvador Dali helped the moon escape to

Shadow Lake 

Shadow Lake, with bags under its eyes,

Finished its breakfast before leaving

For its job of mirroring the world.

Warrior Clouds and Mighty Mountains

Warrior Clouds broke their white wings

Fighting with Mighty Mountains

Over which station to watch on the sky.      

Barefoot Words

Barefoot Words preached green sunrises

To those who did not attend 

The man in the moon's hay-fever party.

Wild Waves walking along the shore shouted,

"Shut up, Barefoot Words!"  

The ensuing struggle between Barefoot Words and Wild Waves

Disturbed Warrior Clouds and Mighty Mountains

Who had agreed to watch 

On the sky.