TV GAME SHOWS NO ONE WATCHES

Here are some TV game shows no one watches:

Who Wants To Be Poor?

Every week contestants compete to lose everything they own.

Cannibal's Cook Pot

This week cannibal chef, Garth Gruesome, shows how to cook clowns so they will not taste funny.

Diapery

Babies compete to see who has the poopiest diaper.

Fantasy Fun

Fantasies compete with Reality to see which one will win a schizophrenic.

The Weather Game

Clouds, wind, skies and rain compete to predict the behavior of weather reporters.

Getting To Work

By answering unskilled questions, holidays and vacations compete to see which one will end its boring leisure existence to be a job.

IT'S NOT FUNNY 

Unsuccessful comedians try to make the audience laugh the least. 

Now you know why no one watches. 

ARE THERE . . . ?

Are there other pictures like this one to take up space?

Are there walk-in clinics for sick wheelchairs?

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Are there charitable nudist camps for underprivileged inner-city mosquitoes to attend at no cost?

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Are there fast food restaurants for cannibals?

"What would you like on your human burger, sir?"

"I'll have mustard, relish, and a scoop of people pieces, please."

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Are there life coaches who get tired of telling silent letters, "You're not useless.  Your life has meaning."?

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Are there freezers that don't give people the cold shoulder?

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Are there garage sales that actually sell garages?

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 Are there endings to endings?

THINGS WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE NEVER SAID

To pee, or not to pee?
That is the question.
Whether it is nobler in the mind
To use the washroom here, or risk suffering
The slings and arrows of outrageous bladder pains 
Later when a washroom is far away . . . 


Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have great body odor.


If music be hockey, play on -- except if you're the Toronto Maple Leafs.  In that case, methinks you should play golf.
 

This above all; to thine own self be clean.  Have a shower once a day.


Give thy thoughts no tongue; however if you meet a nice
 person then . . . 


Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I am a cannibal looking for a light snack.


The course of true love never did run smooth, and there's so many diseases you can get, too.

 

 

If music be the food of love, play on.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/w/william_shakespeare.html#DYP5ka6xSpcL0ji3.99

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/w/william_shakespeare.html#DYP5ka6xSpcL0ji3.99

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/w/william_shakespeare.html#DYP5ka6xSpcL0ji3.99

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/w/william_shakespeare.html#DYP5ka6xSpcL0ji3.99

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/w/william_shakespeare.html#DYP5ka6xSpcL0ji3.

WHO SAID WHAT?

"Do you pollinate?" asked the flower.


"I always speak the truth -- except when I lie," said the politician.


"I'll be home for Christmas," said Santa.  "But I may be late."


"I am nothing without you,"  said the lamp to the plug.


"I easily gain weight when I eat couch potatoes," said the cannibal.


"I love getting stuff dirt cheap," said the earthworm.


"You're black!" said the pot to the kettle.


"I am an early version of you," said Failure to Success.


"Am I nuts?"  asked the cashew.
"I don't think so," said the peanut.


"Stop scraping my bottom!" said the barrel.


"Is this The End?" asked The Beginning.
"I hope so," said My Blog.  "The barrel wants us to stop."