HEARING THINGS

I swear on the wart on my grandmother's nose that I heard the following words come from the following things:

A stain said, "Don't be a washout."

Some mud asked, "Where's the stick?"

Over and over an apology said, "I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm so so sorry."

A pencil said to me, "You got it write!"  (Or was it, "You got it.  Write!")

My cell phone occasionally says to me, "Ring!  Ring!  Ring!"   I'm not sure what that means.

Some days my blog says to me, "Are you scraping the bottom of the barrel?"   I think I know what that means.

 

WHO SAID WHAT?

"Do you pollinate?" asked the flower.


"I always speak the truth -- except when I lie," said the politician.


"I'll be home for Christmas," said Santa.  "But I may be late."


"I am nothing without you,"  said the lamp to the plug.


"I easily gain weight when I eat couch potatoes," said the cannibal.


"I love getting stuff dirt cheap," said the earthworm.


"You're black!" said the pot to the kettle.


"I am an early version of you," said Failure to Success.


"Am I nuts?"  asked the cashew.
"I don't think so," said the peanut.


"Stop scraping my bottom!" said the barrel.


"Is this The End?" asked The Beginning.
"I hope so," said My Blog.  "The barrel wants us to stop."