ALL ABOUT MUD

Does mud have a bad name because God used it to make humans?



Does mud ever take a bath?




Is there mud on other planets?



A man bought a car made of mud.  It was good on gas and never broke down.
"How much did your mud car cost?" asked his friend.
And the man said, "Oh, I got it dirt cheap."




"Why did the mud cross the road?"
"Why?"
"It was stuck on some kids' boots."




If a tree falls in the mud, and no one is there to see it, does the tree still get dirty?




"How can you tell when mud is dirty?"
"How?"
"It uses dirty words."

FUNNY BONE SWIFTIES II

"I need a bath," said the mud earthly.

"We're happy!" said the campers joyfully.

"Amazing!" said Fantastic astonishingly.

"His eyes are stinging me!" said the soap painfully.

 "I'm flying," said Time soaringly.

"I never end," said Time eternally.

"Fortunately this blog ends," said someone reading it.

HEARING THINGS

I swear on the wart on my grandmother's nose that I heard the following words come from the following things:

A stain said, "Don't be a washout."

Some mud asked, "Where's the stick?"

Over and over an apology said, "I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm so so sorry."

A pencil said to me, "You got it write!"  (Or was it, "You got it.  Write!")

My cell phone occasionally says to me, "Ring!  Ring!  Ring!"   I'm not sure what that means.

Some days my blog says to me, "Are you scraping the bottom of the barrel?"   I think I know what that means.

 

A LETTER TO GOD

                                                       

                                                                               TODAY
 Dear God,
      You have done a wonderful job creating everything, but there are few things that I find disturbing.  I hope you won't mind me mentioning them.

 1 -  What were you thinking when you created bed bugs, lice and fleas? 


2 -  If men have to lose their hair, then why not let it fall out from their groins instead of their heads?  Did you choose men's heads because you worried about crotch comb-overs?  

3 -  Weren't you being a little drastic by drowning nearly all of your children because they misbehaved?  

4 -  Wasn't it adultery when you got Mary pregnant while she was still married to Joseph?

I know, I am pushing my luck.   I won't be surprised if a lightening bolt strikes me, and I have to spend eternity with Rob Ford.  After all, you are God and can do whatever you want.  But you gave us brains.  Are we not allowed to think and ask questions?
 

                                                                            Sincerely,
                                                                             Mud*


*My new name now that you have read my letter. 

NAZI SYMPATHIZER

I am a Nazi sympathizer.  I feel sorry for the Nazis and other white supremacists.   Why?   Because they believe that you can make a super race from human beings.   One group of human beings superior to another?    How sad that there are people who believe this.

 No matter how you make, shape or colour mud . . .  it is still mud.