$ $ $ $ $ $ . . .

Fall would be fantastic if money grew on trees.


There are no rich and poor.  There are only people with good credit, and people with bad credit.


Some people spend money as if they have it.


I will take my money with me when I die, but something tells me that I may not be able to use it.


I am better at attracting debt than I am at attracting money.

Being poor isn't so bad.  No one can take anything from you.


I don't mind being wealthy as long as it doesn't make my ass look big.


I want my money to work for me, but my money can't find a job.


What would banks, wallets and purses look like if trees grew on money?

TV SHOWS THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT

The Bastard - Single men compete to be chosen the worst person ever.



Who Wants To Be Poor? - Could not get any contestants for this show. 



Walking Alive - A group of people walk around.  That's it.



The Bad Place - Who wants to watch a show about Hell?



The Game of Brones - What the hell is a brone?



Stuper Girl - Too many protests from women over this show.



Unfinished Business - This show--

TV GAME SHOWS NO ONE WATCHES

Here are some TV game shows no one watches:

Who Wants To Be Poor?

Every week contestants compete to lose everything they own.

Cannibal's Cook Pot

This week cannibal chef, Garth Gruesome, shows how to cook clowns so they will not taste funny.

Diapery

Babies compete to see who has the poopiest diaper.

Fantasy Fun

Fantasies compete with Reality to see which one will win a schizophrenic.

The Weather Game

Clouds, wind, skies and rain compete to predict the behavior of weather reporters.

Getting To Work

By answering unskilled questions, holidays and vacations compete to see which one will end its boring leisure existence to be a job.

IT'S NOT FUNNY 

Unsuccessful comedians try to make the audience laugh the least. 

Now you know why no one watches. 

ALL ABOUT MONEY

Q:  Why did the five-dollar bill cross the road?
A:  The wind blew it.


A thousand-dollar bill walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Come back later.  I don't have enough change."

"Knock.  Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not enough."

"Not enough who?"

"Not enough money to go any further."

Q:  How much money does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  A fortune if you use union light-bulb changers.

Having money earn interest makes cents.