$ $ $ $ $ $ . . .

Fall would be fantastic if money grew on trees.


There are no rich and poor.  There are only people with good credit, and people with bad credit.


Some people spend money as if they have it.


I will take my money with me when I die, but something tells me that I may not be able to use it.


I am better at attracting debt than I am at attracting money.

Being poor isn't so bad.  No one can take anything from you.


I don't mind being wealthy as long as it doesn't make my ass look big.


I want my money to work for me, but my money can't find a job.


What would banks, wallets and purses look like if trees grew on money?

HOW TO GET RICH

The following are surefire ways to get rich:


- Win the lottery;


- Have lots of money;


- Invest money in the sock market;
(The sock market is a shoo-in.)


- Sell your brains to zombies;
(Make sure you don't need them.)


- Start a life insurance company and sell life insurance policies to immortals;
(Their premiums will never stop, and you will never have to payout.)


- Ask Warren Buffett for lots of money;


- Pretend you're rich;


 and finally,

 
If you want to be rich, then never spend any money ever again.  Never!  

ALL ABOUT MONEY

Q:  Why did the five-dollar bill cross the road?
A:  The wind blew it.


A thousand-dollar bill walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Come back later.  I don't have enough change."

"Knock.  Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not enough."

"Not enough who?"

"Not enough money to go any further."

Q:  How much money does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  A fortune if you use union light-bulb changers.

Having money earn interest makes cents.