CAT THOUGHTS

What do cats think?


Shall I give that human a thrill by allowing it to pet me? 

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No, I won't sleep on the couch in the morning.  I'll sleep upstairs on the bed.  In the afternoon I'll come down and sleep on the couch.

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Gosh these humans are not very clean.  Don't they ever lick themselves?

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What's with them?  Don't they care about my conscientious efforts?  I am so meticulous about burying my poop, and then they carelessly dig it up and throw it away!

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Why don't they let me walk on the kitchen counter?  Do I stop them from walking on my floor?

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Yuck!  Did those filthy humans give me fleas?

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I don't understand.  Those humans are supposed to be intelligent.  Why can't they learn to meow properly?

SEVEN RULES FOR LIVING

1 - Never get into a heated argument with fire.


2 - Marry when you are tired of having sex and no good for anything else.


3 - Wear earplugs to keep the wind from blowing through your head.


4 - Never slaughter a cow while wearing good clothes. 


5 - To keep Death Notices easy to read, make sure you die in alphabetical order.


6 - Never let your cat out you live near a Chinese restaurant.


7 - Never buy a losing lottery ticket.

AVOID THE PLAGUE AND OTHER WORDS NOT CONNECTED . . .

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Some people are against nudity.  I am for nudity.  Nudity is convenient when taking a shower.  Nudity is not convenient when having to carry car keys.

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POLICE ARREST CAT . . . 

After receiving several complaints from the cat's neighbors, Toronto police arrested and charged the cat for keeping 50 old ladies in its one-bedroom apartment.  Some of the old ladies had not had their diapers changed in weeks, and were starving.  The old ladies were taken to a shelter where they will be nursed back to health, and then put up for adoption.

Pussy Willow, 7 years, is facing a number of charges including negligence and cruelty to old ladies.

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 Always look on the bright side - This blog is over for now.

THE OTHER NIGHT . . .