1 - Never get into a heated argument with fire.
2 - Marry when you are tired of having sex and no good for anything else.
3 - Wear earplugs to keep the wind from blowing through your head.
4 - Never slaughter a cow while wearing good clothes.
5 - To keep Death Notices easy to read, make sure you die in alphabetical order.
6 - Never let your cat out you live near a Chinese restaurant.
7 - Never buy a losing lottery ticket.
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